You couldn't care less
by Won't-wear-a-Halo
Summary: Tatum winthrope has got one hell of complicated life. Still in school she is mostly on her own, keeping it as simple as possible. All that changes when she requires some popular friends. Bellatrix and Narcissa Black...
1. An Angel Bored Like Hell

**You couldn't care less...**

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**Chapter one: ******

**_An Angel bored like hell_**

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Tatum Winthrop looked out of her dorm room window across the fields of Hogwarts. Things looked so peaceful, so quiet, so still.

A little bored she played with a strand of her hair as another girl walked in. Paying no attention to Tatum the dark haired girl, known as Wilona Wallis, searched her suitcase before leaving again. Most people in her house paid no attention to the girl and Tatum was therefore not surprised. Slytherins weren't very tolerant and she was pretty different. She was a true goody-two-shoes.

In the beginning of the year Tatum had often wondered why she was put there, but soon found out that if crossed she was a true devil. Yet as she was seen as an angel she got away with pretty much everything. Her reputation saved her from many detentions, yet it also deprived her of any friends.

No the first year of Tatum had not been all that great. Nor had her summer been that wonderful.

The girl therefore hoped that this year, her second, would be so much better. It did not start all to well, begin bored only a week into term.

* * *

She grabbed some books and walked outside, sitting herself underneath a tree where she could easily look around and make drawings of all that she saw.

An hour later she was joined by a figure and she did not need to look up to know who it was.

"Hello Severus" she stated and he mumbled a reply. They weren't the best of friends, but neither one had that many to people to hang out with and whenever they were bored and alone they'd meet up. Sometimes they'd talk about all the things they could do to get back at those prankers calling themselves the marauders, but neither was brave enough to truly step up yet. And other times they'd just sit and say nothing.

Severus Snape was one of the very few people that you could have a comfortable silence with. Both liked it that way. Still he never stayed for to long, Lily Evans would walk by and Severus would go with her. That was the way it had been whole of last year and it would most likely not change.

Today they choose for silence and it wasn't until after three hours, that he left to find Lily. Longest he had ever been with her, Tatum felt better at once. She was his friend, not just someone to spend some lost minutes with.

A little while later Tatum stood up to find her way inside again. She had enough of drawing for today and she was starving. Lunch would be served in 10 minutes.

* * *

Making her way towards the castle again she was soon stopped dead in her tracks by what she saw before her. Severus fighting, with the marauders. Again they went after him, had they nothing better to do?

Though she knew he did not want her to get involved she knew she could not turn her back now, instead she hid herself in the bushes and muttered minor curses under her breath. Soon James Potter and Remus Lupin were writhing on the ground tortured by endless tickling, while Peter Pettigrew was screaming like a little girl. Only Sirius seemed untouched. His attention went to his friends and he lifted the curse they had on Severus. Within seconds Severus was out of sight and Sirius turned his attention to the bushes where Tatum was hiding.

"Come out!" he screamed but she knew better then to oblige. Quietly as she could, she crawled away and found her refuge behind some other bushes before acting as if she was just walking by at that moment.

Sirius eyed her suspiciously but said nothing of it as his friends were finally overcoming their laughter ( and screaming in Peter's case). Tatum hurried of to find Severus.

"Was it you?" Severus asked as he saw Tatum walk in the great hall looking a little flustered and hurried.

"No" she replied much to soon and he just looked at her with a smile. He really smiled and again Tatum felt blessed. She never really thought he saw her as a friend but today he showed he did. Did she finally make a friend? She smiled back and grabbed a few sandwiches as they appeared on the table.

Sirius looked across the great hall and saw Severus and Tatum smile at one another. He was sure now, it had been her. She was the only person he knew to pull of such a strong tickling curse. He tried once but was overcome by her talent. Most of the prank curses they used as children were her speciality. She excelled at all of them. But then again she excelled in most things. No wonder either, she was always on her own. For a split second he felt guilty. Had he abandoned her? His brother said he did, but was he right? Was her life still that bad? He hoped not. Her mother had remarried after all, things must have gotten better. Her father was the one that hurt her, he could no longer touch her now.

He stood up a left the table mumbling something about bathroom to his friends who were far to engrossed in their story of the hidden curser. They were clueless to who it had been.

Outside he waited for her to come, she always did. Eat two sandwiches and then leave the hall for a stroll towards the library. Today was no different.

* * *

"It's not very polite to hit curses when people have their back turned" Sirius said and Tatum was a little shocked but quickly recovered and looked at the boy with disdain.

"I never said I was polite" she just stated and walked on. She had no sympathy for the boy before her and was in no mood to speak to him.

"Wow that's it? No witty comeback, no fight?" Sirius asked her a little flustered. She always put up a good fight but today she did nothing.

"you're not worth it" she simply replied and kept walking without glancing back.

"to bad" he said and mumbled something under his breath.

Within seconds Tatum felt herself hanging upside down and while screaming for him to let her down, she watched him walk closer to her.

"Next time I won't keep my mouth shut" he said and she knew he had not told his friends yet.

"Neither will I" she replied and thought of the opportunity of going to the teachers, they always believed her.

"I don't doubt that. But remember revenge is sweet" he said close to her face and with a swift move she spit in his face and he dropped her to the ground.

Pained by the impact of the fall she lay still for a moment and listened to the footsteps walking away from her hurriedly. She smiled. Again she had gotten to him. She had been able to do just that ever since they were little and she was still mastering that skill.

* * *

A few weeks passed and Sirius and Tatum had been throwing curses forth and back ever since their last encounter. This alone earned the girl many new friends and she did not feel any regrets. After all Bellatrix told her he deserved nothing better.

Most of the time Tatum now spend with Narcissa and Bellatrix, pulling pranks on their sister Andromeda and cousin Sirius. They had a blast, but she began to lose focus of her main goal. Getting on his nerves and keeping the few friends she had. Severus had been more distant as of lately and it wasn't just the marauders she hurt these days. Only three days ago Tatum had been present while Bella cursed Lily Evans. Though she felt a little uncomfortable for hurting a friend of her friend, she did not move. What if Bella and Narcissa didn't like her anymore if she did?

But the look in Severus eyes told her, he no longer liked her now.

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Well everything has it's price I guess.

What do you think of this? Let me know!


	2. Your Eyes Don't Like Me No More

**You Couldn't Care Less... **

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**Chapter two: **

_Your eyes don't like me no more_

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The next three years went by in a flash and Tatum no longer was the little angelic girl that always spent the hours on her own. She had received a new reputation, one where nobody but her friends trusted her anymore. Teachers hated her and Severus refrained from talking to her. His eyes told her everything she needed to know. She had changed...and she had left him behind. He still hang out with Lily, but Tatum did not even call her lily anymore. Mudblood was the phrase she used for girls like her. Yes things were different alright.

Fifth year started and Tatum found her first boyfriend in Evan Rosier. Her second in Rabastan Lestrange and after that she got the hand of it. Boyfriends everywhere and leaving a trail of broken hearts behind. And though everything had changed so much, school was still the only place where she was ever happy. She missed Severus, but at least she had other friends to keep her company. Back home she was always lonely...if she was lucky.

* * *

"Well well, if it isn't our own little devil!" a voice called out as Tatum made her way across Hogsmeade. She looked back and groaned. Sirius Black, her biggest enemy. 

"What do you want Black" she snapped and kept walking hoping to find Narcissa.

"What?!? Have you truly lost your wit? Here I was thinking it was only a rumour but I do believe it is true after all" Sirius sneered and James could be heard sniggering not far form them.

"I would engage in a battle of wits with you, but I refuse to duel with an unarmed person." Tatum said getting annoyed. Sirius smirked, not replying but just looking at her.

"Keep looking, I might do a trick" she said getting even more annoyed by his silence then by his words.

"Wow you're as sharp as a beach ball" Sirius replied and Tatum groaned again.

"Never miss a good opportunity to shut up!" she replied now.

" Would not dream of it" Sirius replied and it was then that Narcissa decided to safe her friend from a fight she wasn't looking for.

"My, my we were looking all over for you...come on you never know what kind of diseases those filthy blood traitors carry around these days" Narcissa sneered and pulled her friend along to where Bellatrix was already waiting.

"Why do you always let him get to you?" Bella asked as they made their way around town, gift shopping.

"I...I don't even know, old habits die hard I guess" Tatum muttered and Narcissa laughed.

"Sure darling. Sentiments. Since when were you one for those?" Bellatrix replied and laughed making both Tatum and Narcissa laugh along with her.

"by the way what took you so long?" Narcissa then asked, sifting the conversation to a safer subject. Bellatrix and Tatum never truly saw eye to eye on many things.

"Rabastan" Tatum said simply and blushed slightly as she thought back of the encounter, making Bellatrix snort.

"Oh charming" Tatum replied looking at Bellatrix who only glared in reply.

* * *

Later that day as the girls made their way back to the castle they were joined by Lucius and Rudolfus. Narcissa and Bellatrix soon left with them, leaving Tatum to find her own way back. The cloud was turning darker every minute and it wasn't long until the rain started pouring, soaking her. 

"Bloody Hell" she muttered and quickly made her way across the empty streets. Pulling the hood of her cloak over her head and keeping her head down she walked as quickly as her feet could carry her. She did not even see the set of eyes following her every step. It wasn't until Tatum was roughly pushed into the bushes that she realised she had not been alone on the road.

Trying to see who her attacker was she tilted her head only to be slapped in the face hard.

"Hello love" Evan Rosier said menacing and she could hear another person chuckling behind him.

"What are you doing?" she asked him anxious knowing she best not provoke him. He had always been quite aggressive. That had been the reason they split months ago.

"I want what Rabastan got this morning" he said and for a moment Tatum stiffened.

"I...don't think.." she began but was cut of by a pair of lips over her own.

"No need to talk my love, I forgive you for fooling him" he said and began ripping at her cloak as she did her best to get away from his grip.

"Let me go Evan, not now not here, just not..." she stated earning her another slap.

" you don't get to make the decisions darling" he stated and as he bent down to kiss her neck she got a good look at his accomplish, who was now on the look out for any unsuspected visitors of this lonely road. Avery. Snape's friend. Hoping Severus was anywhere near she began to scream knowing it would cost her dear if nobody was there to help her.

Soon spells were cast and Evan Rosier pushed Tatum to the ground. Crying in embarrassment and pain she pulled the remainders of her cloak around her, not even noticing who had come to her aid. 

The moment she did look up though she was met by the eyes of the one person she would never have considered as her saviour. James Potter. His friends were container her attacker and his helper, while James helped her get up. Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and even Peter Pettigrew were standing there with their wands raised.

They bonded the boys to a tree and made sure someone would find them soon enough, before escorting the still crying figure out of the bushes. As she looked around, she noticed the rain had stopped falling and more people were walking their way now. But one person she noticed in particular. The one person who was already standing nearby. The one person she had hoped to save her. The one person she now saw in a complete new light. Severus Snape. He had been standing there all along judging by his wet robes and he had not helped her out. Did he truly hate her that much? The emotions welling inside her made her knees give out and her mind drift into oblivion. Sirius picked her up before she hit the ground and carried her to school grounds and then to Madame Pomfrey hoping she would be able to help sooth the girl's pains and emotions.

* * *

By the time Tatum woke up, several people were sitting by her bed. Narcissa, Lucius, Bellatrix, Rudolfus and Rabastan. But as she looked passed them she saw him, Severus Snape. The moment she saw him her facial expression changed and all turned to see who she was staring at. 

"Get out" she said in a low whisper and the boy looked at her with regret evident in his eyes, but she no longer cared. He could have saved her, yet choose not too. They could have raped her and he would have been standing by not moving a single muscle.

"I said GET OUT" she now screamed and with that Bellatrix jumped up, her wand pointed at the boy's throat.

"I believe she was quite clear...or do you want to me to make it all the more clear? Give you an image to go with the words?" she muttered in a dangerous voice and for the first time in a long time Tatum felt grateful for knowing Bellatrix. It was no secret that the girls weren't close friends but they would never want the other to get hurt, it was evident now.

And as Severus made his way out he looked back one more time, locking eyes with Tatum and seeing at once, what she had seen in his eyes all those years ago. She hated him now. His heart was crushed even though he had been no friend to her lately and she had not been to him. He always thought things would work out and all would be fine someday. But he also knew that what had happened this weekend made any bond they had ever shared shatter beyond repair and with that thought clear in his mind he made his way out of the room. He lost everything.

Lily stopped talking to him, Tatum hated him and all he had were Avery and Mulciber and they weren't the greatest friends a person could wish for, he knew that. He only had himself to thank for.

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_I hope you all liked it! It took a while, I know and I'm sorry. I'm posting this story on another site as well and I wanted to keep them leveled...the point is, on the other site they validate every piece so I had to wait. Today I was tired of waiting and so here it is...boring story for you guys I guess but I still wanted to explain a little.._


	3. Life is Blue as water

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**You couldn't care less...**

**Chapter three: **_Life is blue as water_

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Tatum looked around the common room and wondered why she had ever thought these people to be her friends. Bellatrix was flirting with Evan Rosier like no tomorrow, even Rudolphus was now noticing and he was quite thick-headed. Still he was supposed to marry her and it was no wonder he became angry. 

They all sided with Evan except for Narcissa and Lucius. After all that had happened they were the only two to stand by her. Though she knew Lucius only did so because he loved Narcissa. She sighed softly and looked away from the sight. These people weren't worth a dime...too bad it took such a event to figure that out.

It had been three days since the attack and her friends dropped her like the plague. They could not believe Evan Rosier to be a rapist. They believed her to be a lair. For two days straight she cried in her room, making excuses about a bad cold which Narcissa would tell the others.

"Cissy?" Tatum asked on the third day, "Does anyone believe me already?".

Narcissa had looked down at her shoes before softly muttered a negative answer. She did not want to hurt her friend and Tatum was thankful for that but glad to know the truth.

"Thanks Cissy, for believing, but if I bring to much trouble on you then please refrain from speaking." She had told her friend and Naricissa had only laughed out loud.

"With Lucius as my protector. Do you truly think anyone will give me trouble?" she had replied, earning herself a smile from Tatum.

"but he will be gone next year"

"who cares, he will still make sure I am safe, and you as well" she said trying to comfort her friend and Tatum just smiled not so certain things would work out.

It was then that Tatum decided to find her saviours. She had not seen them since she had lost consciousness and she wanted to thank them. Though she was supposed to hate all of them, they saved her. They had been better for her then her friends and she as quite aware of that.

She walked down the halls of Hogwarts and was surprised by their deserted state. Classes were over and mostly the halls would be buzzing with students, but shrugging it off she went to find the marauders.

After a while she could hear loud noises and as she approached steadily she found it came from the great hall. Quickly she made her way there and looked inside. Though it was still half an hour before dinner, some people were already sitting at their tables and it did not take long to find the source of the clamour.

A fight between Sirius Black and Severus Snape, yet under the watchful eyes of so many people neither one cast a spell just yet. Walking nearer she could only hear a few words of what was said.

"...her friend..." Sirius said with disgust and the other marauders had the same look on their face.

"I..." Severus had no words to say, he wasn't as witty or angry as the man before him and simply did not have his heart in the fight. Tatum choose that moment to step in.

"What is going on?" she asked softly to nobody in particular.

"It seems he has not only been a lousy friend to you, but to Lily as well" James stated clearly and gave Severus another glare.

"Though I think Lily will be pleased to see you stand up for her, I think she should fight this fight herself." She stated and laid her hand upon the arm of Sirius. For a moment he looked shocked put he did lower his wand.

"but..." James exclaimed but Tatum silenced him with a simple hand movement.

"No buts. Snape was a lousy friend, he must know that. But remember he was put in Slytherin for a reason and I doubt it was his sparkling personality." Tatum said and Sirius chuckled as the other students just shrugged and walked away from the commotion.

"Detention for all of you" a voice stated from behind them and when they looked around Professor McGonagle looked sternly upon Severus, Tatum and the marauders. Tatum began to protest but the professor simply walked away not wanting to hear another word. Slightly offended Tatum sat down at the table and waited for dinner to begin. Forgetting all about thanking those idiots she had recently called her saviours.

Later that evening they were to go to McGonagle's office to receive their punishment and Tatum went reluctantly. She wasn't the first to arrive she found out soon.

"I don't really care what you are saying mister Snape. Miss Winthrop was present during the fight and I doubt she had nothing to do with it" the professor stated and a small smile formed on Tatum's lips. He was trying at least. Still she would not forgive him, just like that.

The group was divided and Tatum was told to go with Sirius, together they were to help Filch.

James and Snape were to clean a few statues under the watchful eye of Slughorn and Remus and Peter, who had little involvement in the fight were to go with McGonagle herself.

Tatum groaned and looked at Sirius. Why him? Why the most arrogant of the bunch? Why the one person that knew where she came from?

Sirius smirked and walked ahead not looking back to see if she followed.

Another groan erupted from her mouth and angrily she followed. A little ahead of her she could hear Sirius chuckle at her behaviour and she tried to become her dignified self again but somehow it was hard to do.

They were set to cleaning some horrific looking cups and other artefacts muggle style. Both were quite unfamiliar to the concept and neither one was quick, meaning they would be there for quite a while. If only Sirius could have kept his mouth shut the entire time, things would have been a lot more bearable.

"Tell me what happened, I haven't seen you with my dear cousins as much lately." Sirus asked casually, making Tatum stiffen. She nearly dropped a cup and quickly set it down before turning to face the boy.

"I do not wish to talk about it" She replied stiffly and turned back hoping he would not try again. His answer however angered her to no end.

"Talk about being ungrateful." Sirius muttered and Tatum could feel her blood beginning to boil.

"I'm not being ungrateful" she screamed and walked up to him looking quite horrifying to a boy who did not understand what had angered her so much about his statement.

"Eh...sorry?" he tried carefully and tears brimmed Tatum's eyes, making him feel guilty without knowing what for. She growled again, trying to blink the tears away before looking up into his eyes again.

"No I'm sorry. I've been quite a mess these last few days." She muttered and began to walk away.

"Why?" Sirius asked an grabbed her arm carefully as if he were afraid to break her fragile body. Ruefully she smiled at the thought of her body as fragile.

"They don't believe me, Bella and all" Sirius's eyes grew like saucers and Tatum looked down a little.

"Why not?" he asked softly and remembered all the pain the girl before him had already gone through in her life, she did not need this. Friends bailing on her.

"I don't know, Evan said I was just being melodramatic. Narcissa and Lucius stood by me though" she said with a small sad smile and Sirus looked even more surprised by that statement.

"Lucius?" he asked confused and Tatum chuckled.

"he loves your cousin. She believes me and therefore so does he" she replied and he nodded in understanding.

"I'm sorry" Sirius said again and Tatum just smiled at him. Maybe he wasn't all that bad after all.

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My life is quite hectic at this moment...exams are coming my way and the father of my very best friend is extremely ill...still I wanted to update this story and I hope you like it...there might be some faults in the typing...let me know! 

Please leave a review!!!!They really make a writer feel good about their work! Even if it is constructive critism!


	4. A devil meaning well

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**You couldn't care less...**

**Chapter 4****_: A devil meaning well_**

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Tatum looked around the school grounds from her dorm window once again. Feeling alone and lost, like so many years before. And like so many years before Wilona Wallis walked in to grab a book. Wilona must have been the only Slytherin that studied hard. The difference with all those years ago was though, Wilona shot her a look of disgust. 

"I liked it better when you ignored me" Tatum muttered and Wilona just sneered before walking out. Toleration levels had once again stooped at an all time low. Slytherins were such loyal housemates, Tatum sneered in thought. She grabbed her things and walked about the grounds for a while, trying to find herself a new favourite spot. She no longer wished to be found by Severus nor by any other Slytherin.

The Holidays had come and her only two friends had left to visit family. Tatum told her family she had some catching up to do and therefore would not return home for Christmas.

"Not going home this year?" a voice stated from nearby, nearly scaring her to death.

"Nope, to much catching up to do these two weeks" Tatum replied having recognised the voice.

"I get that, I've got that every holiday" Sirius said making Tatum smile slightly.

"I know" she replied and gazed at the lake before her.

"it's so peaceful" she said softly and Sirius just nodded.

"And bloody cold, I'm off." He said after a few silent minutes and Tatum chuckled.

"you coming?" he then asked and Tatum looked slightly flabbergasted.

"why would you want me to come?" she asked stupidly and this time Sirius chuckled.

"you're not as bad as your house makes you seem. Come on" he said and Tatum smiled before grabbing her stuff and following him.

Three hours they spent together walking around the castle and Tatum learned of passageways she had never noticed before.

"Seriously how do you know of all these places?" she asked as he showed her another small classroom after walking through a small dark corridor.

"That is for me to know...and for you to..." He began.

"find out?" Tatum finished for him.

"not really I like my secrets" Sirius replied and Tatum just nodded before looking around a little. She loved her secrets as well.

And then without as much as a warning she felt his arms around her waist and his lips on her neck. Quickly she turned around, stunned and appalled.He looked into her eyes and she saw a flicker of something she had never seen before.His lips touched hers and his tongue quickly followed. Gently but quickly he pushed her to a wall and held his body close to hers.Though shocked by the situation Tatum could not help but be dazzled by his ability. And she quickly started responding.

His hands opened the buttons on her shirt before pulling it of swiftly and she gradually returned the favour. Their breathing quickened as did their heartbeats and soon they were both completely naked. Tatum wrapped her legs around his waist as he positioned his manhood. Both were lost in complete ecstasy.

* * *

Two weeks later Tatum woke up late and had to hurry to get to class in time.On the way there she ran into a few people but she did not really care, what mattered was that she was on time today.She did not want to be found alone in a corridor by any marauder and she did not have the friends to back her up at this point.Narcissa wasn't in most of her classes and besides her, who did she have?Tatum quickly took a seat as other people slowly started to come in. 

"early today, Miss Winthrop" Professor Sloghorn said looking at his student.

"just trying to get a good start" she replied and he smiled at her. He favoured her. He always had and she knew it had to do with her father. He was a big businessman and many respected him, others feared him. To Tatum, her father was just the one to have given her life. He meant very little to her. Still she would have been foolish to mention this to anyone, let alone Professor Slughorn.

"sounds just like your father" he said and Tatum had to try her best to keep from laughing loud. Weird how others knew her father better then she did. It wasn't very hard, seeing as she had rarely seen her father but still, thinking she was alike? Very weird indeed.

Classes started and Tatum was content. Nobody took place beside her and the marauders weren't even around. She smiled and worked feverishly on her potion until her smile dropped by the realisation that she had been to early to smile.

"you're late" the voice of Professor Slughorn boomed throughout the classroom and four hurried looking boys could be heard muttering excuses.

"just join the other students, so you won't fall to far behind." He stated and Tatum cursed. Why did Slughorn have to favour them as well? Could he not just have punished them? Class had been so peaceful up until then!

Her curses increased when she saw a figure next to her table.

"What do you want?" she asked shortly, not wanting to know which one of the marauders choose her but having the smallest idea anyhow.

"I was told to join forces" the voice of Sirius said casually.

"Well you should know I don't work well in teams." She sneered hoping he would find another place to sit but he just smirked and sat down.

"Could have fooled me" he said softly and inside Tatum felt like exploding. Still she tried to keep her exterior calm and collected. Nobody needed to know anything had ever happened between them and nobody needed to know they even knew each other. That was as far as Tatum was concerned, Sirius obviously thought otherwise.

"That's no way to treat an old friend" he said after a long silence.

"I was never under the impression we were friends" she replied still not looking up at him. She could not bear to look into his eyes.

"I was" he replied and Tatum let out a small growl.

"I missed hearing that" he replied hinting at their encounter two weeks earlier and Tatum snapped.

"could you just shut up! Nothing of importance went down back then and nothing ever will" she replied a little louder and several classmates looked up at her.

"Finally coming out of your little fantasy world, Winthrop?" Rosier called out and some Slytherins sniggered slightly.

"I wasn't talking about our little encounter Evan. Though unwanted it's hardly interesting enough to talk about." Tatum replied and looked down at his manhood meaningfully, making many people in class snigger now. She smiled sweetly at him and looked back at her work, only to see Sirius had finished it.

"So you do have a brain" She said and brought the assignment up to Slughorn.

"Great job you two, take a break if you wish" said the professor and Tatum was quick to grab her stuff and leave the classroom.

* * *

She soon heard the steady footsteps behind her and she walked down some corridors she had discovered two weeks earlier until she was that one classroom. 

"Is this supposed to be some sort of hint?" Sirius asked as he walked in after her and closed the door.

"What do you want from me Sirius?" Tatum asked, sounding bored.

"why have you been ignoring me for the past two weeks?" he asked her and she smiled slightly.

"I was just another notch on your belt and don't think you were that much more to me" She said and Sirius sighed looking annoyed.

"I thought.." he began but stopping quickly not really knowing what to say.

"isn't this how you work Sirius? Snogging a girl and then stop talking to her afterwards?" she said raising her voice a little.

"is it how you work?" he replied and Tatum looked up to the ceiling.

"Can't you just answer a question without backfiring it?" she asked exasperated.

"Can you?" he asked just to piss her off a little more.

"God you're unbelievable." She called out and Sirius laughed.

"I hear that quite often." He replied cocky and Tatum made her way to the door.

"What do you want from me?" she asked him softly, when she stood beside him.

"To get rid of the devil in you" he said

"Why? This devil is meaning well" she replied with a smirk and walked out of the room quickly.

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I hope you like it! I love reviews!!!!(A not so subtle hint!) 

Thanks for the reviews I already received! I love them!

_Baby seal_

_azorianxxx_

_IHateSeverusSnape_

Thank you! And I'll update as quick as my schedule will let me!

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	5. You couldn't care less could you?

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**You couldn't care less...**

**Chapter 5:**_You could not care less could you?_

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Tatum looked around the great hall, searching for those eyes filled with sorrow. Once she found them she slowly walked towards them. It was time for some peace in her life. 

The Hufflepuff table looked up bewildered as she walked by carefully in her Slytherin robes.

"It would never be the same" Tatum muttered and many looked confused but one person did not. Nina McPherson looked up at Tatum and smiled.

"I would not want it to be" Nina replied making her housemates even more confused. Tatum smiled and sat down beside Nina before the girls hugged one another close. A single tear slid down her cheek and Tatum was happy. It had been so long since she had been truly happy.

It had been so long since she had spoken to Nina. She had missed her friend.

Nina and Tatum had been friends for years on end, until they reached Hogwarts. Excited they had made their way to the Hogwarts express the summer they had turned eleven.Excited they had done everything together. Nina had often saved Tatum from her home and they had been always there for the other one.

A foolish little friendship, such young girls often had. And it ended quite harshly as many of those friendships did. But Tatum always saw her friendship to Nina as so much more. The girl saved her so many times. There was nothing foolish about that. The sorting had been terrifying but Nina had assured Tatum that she was nothing like her parents. She would not have to end up in the same house.

But she did and from that moment on, Nina had ignored her. That was until last year. Nina had been coming up to her, hoping to make up for everything. But Tatum had not been ready for forgiveness.

Now she was and she was in desperate need of a friend. Nina had always been a great friend before, and she could be again

* * *

From that moment on, Tatum sat with the Hufflepuff's. Not everyone was happy with that fact but she was safe form her housemates, who all pretty much hated her. Except of course for Narcissa, but she was busy being engaged. 

And she was safe from Sirius. He only came when she was alone and now that she had Nina back she never needed to be alone anymore.

She feared being alone.

* * *

It wasn't until two weeks later that Tatum was alone again. Nina had quidditch practice and she did not want to bother Narcissa. The girl was so happy now with the engagement and all, she did not want to break her stride. Narcissa deserved to be happy! After all she had proven to be a great friend to Tatum. 

Quietly she left the common room and walked through the damp corridors of the basement and jumped at every sound. Silly how she feared loneliness even here in school, when it was home where she needed to be scared.

Sighing loudly she tried to shake of the feeling of fear as she made her way to the room she had been visiting quite often now for the last four weeks.

Corridor after corridor she walked slowing her pass with ever corner she went. Though she wanted to go there, she changed her mind a thousand times on the walk over there.

There was always the slight chance that he was there. And she wished not to see him there again.

The room became her refuge. The place where she could calm down. The area where she could be who she wanted to be. The room where none of her fears and doubts could reach her. Where she was truly at ease.

Doubting she grabbed the handle and looked through the small gap before walking in. The coast was clear. She could be on her own.

* * *

She sat down on the chair and rested her head on her arms upon the desk. 

It did not take her long this time. The tears started flowing freely. Sooner then the last time she was here.

Everywhere she looked she saw him. Everywhere she went she heard his voice. And saw his posture in every male that walked by her.

She cried out her heart and did not know how to stop.

She cried for all the pain she ever felt.

For all the pain she ever had to hide form the world.

For every feeling she was not allowed to feel.

She did not ever hear the door open and the footsteps coming closer. She heard nothing above the sound of her own cries.

But she did feel the arms wrapping around her and she did hear the soothing shushing sound that was made near her ear. And she did feel the safety provided by the body that pulled her close.

She knew who it was. She did not need to look. Her hands grabbed the front of the uniform, pulling the body as close as could be. She needed to be close. She needed to know someone cared, someone wanted her if only for a little while.

She did not expect there would be more than this, one more event.

Slowly she pulled of his shirt and kissed his chest. He responded immediately by grabbing and groping her body and clothes.

Everything went out and soon they were lost in a moment of lust.

Groans and moans were erupted and then, as soon as it had began, it was done and over with.

They lay down on the floor and breathed a little heavier then normally.

"I've missed you, Tatum" he said and she smiled ruefully.

"It won't happen again Rabastan. I'm sorry" she replied and angered he stood up to pull on his clothes.

Following his gesture she began to pull on her clothes slower then him. Later she wished to have been quicker.

Rabastan opened the door and stormed out, walking head first into another figure.

"you next huh?" he asked fuming and Tatum quickly looked around while pulling on her shirt.

Before her stood Sirius.

Rabastan left and for a moment Sirius just stood shocked before her. Neither one knew what words to say. Nothing would do in a situation such as this one.

She had no obligations towards Sirius and she never was one to stand by one man, but something in his eyes hurt her. More then any words would hurt her.

He looked confused, betrayed and most of all he looked wounded.

A tear slit down her cheek and she reached out her arm to touch his cheek. Yet as if the hand burned him, he backed off. Still not saying a word.

"Sirius, please, Say something" she whispered.

"What do you want me to say" he replied and she looked at her feet.

"I ...I don't know." She replied softly and he snorted.

"I could not care less about who you do" He said and broke her heart that instance.

Sirius walked away closing the door behind him and leaned against the door listening to her cries for a good ten minutes before he walked off.

He found no reason to walk in and comfort her. She did not deserve it.

She did not deserve anything, if you asked him.

Rabastan! Seriously, of all people. She could have chosen someone from a better house!

A better house, he thought to himself immediately, Rabastan was from the same house as her.

She was no better then the average Slytherin.

* * *

_I hope you like it...it's not a happy ending but then again I'm not ready for this story to end at all so:P..._

_Let me know what you thought of this chapter!!!!_


	6. I'm really quite a mess

* * *

**You couldn't care less **

**Chapter 6:**_I'm really quite a mess_

* * *

The next few days were hard on Tatum. Rabastan acted cold and Sirius ignored her. She had very few friends and she did not want to bother those few with her problems. She might scare them off.

Narcissa noticed a slight change but figured it were the oncoming holidays and therefore said nothing of it. She did not notice Tatum was begging for her to say something, anything. Tatum herself would not say a word.

Last night a feast had been announced for Valentine. All students were invited and it was formal attire with masks. Nothing big, but big enough to have many people frenetically running around.

Tatum however became even more still and retreated. As others worried about their dates and what to wear, Tatum worried about going solo.

She hurt the last two guys that ever showed some care for her and neither one was willing to take her, she figured. She would not take her if she were them either.

Her friends did have dates and she did not feel like tagging along. Being a third wheel didn't really seem very fancy to her.

"Maybe I should just stay in" she said to Narcissa, who just looked at her incredulous.

"Stay? The whole school will be there" Narcissa exclaimed.

"Precisely, no reason for me to go" Tatum replied and laid down on her bed.

"you have to show your face" Narcissa replied stubbornly but Tatum was just as stubborn.

"Why should I, it's not like anyone is waiting to see me" Tatum said and Narcissa sighed deeply.

"No they are waiting for you to not show, don't you get it!" She said thoroughly annoyed and Tatum shook her head.

"Let's make them happy then."

"you're unbelievable. "Narcissa exclaimed and then said her goodbye's, she was going to meet her boyfriend. Tatum groaned and hit her pillow before getting up.

She packed her bag and walked downstairs into the common room, where she quickly looked around but saw nobody interesting before walking further out into the halls of the school.

She walked past the great hall and out of the big wooden doors that symbolised the entrance.

Slowly she walked across the grounds until she reached her favourite spot.

* * *

Sitting down underneath the tree, she took out her notebook. Time to draw away her feelings.

"Seems a little to dark if you ask me" a voice said from beside her and Tatum rolled her eyes.

"I didn't ask you" she replied and quickly looked up with a smile, showing she was joking. He was making an effort, she could only return the favour.

"Can I sit here?" Sirius asked and sat down before she could answer him.

"I guess you can" Tatum replied and looked to the side, into his eyes.

For a long time they sat in a silence that was not as comfortable as it could have been. Tatum knew it was time to clear the air.

"I'm quite a mess aren't I?" she whispered softly and Sirius looked at her tear-filled eyes.

"I just want to know why" he said and that one simple question covered all ground.

"I don't know, he was there, I was there...I needed someone, something. I needed to feel" Tatum replied.

"Why him and not me?" Sirius began before adding, "Why did you ignore me".

"I...I don't know" she replied before standing up and quickly walking off.

Why did she ignore him? Afraid of being another notch on his belt? Not really, she had lots of notches of her own. Shaking her head she walked back to her dorm room.

Sirius sat underneath the tree for a little longer, not quite knowing what to think about all of it. She had always been a mystery, but she outdid herself just then. Who could not want him, he thought arrogantly.

He looked around and saw his brother walking a little away.

Regelus looked at him shaking his head.

Sirius knew what he thought, he figured he'd hurt Tatum.

* * *

Regelus had always looked out for her. He never wanted people to hurt her. Tatum was special, he knew that. He wasn't in love with her, but he loved her still. She showed him a world where he would fit in. She cared for the little boy when everybody else just looked at his big brother.

Still when the day came that Sirius was disowned, Tatum was left behind. Not just by Sirius but by Regelus as well.

Regelus knew he had been wrong to stop talking to her, he knew and still he did it. After all she wasn't good for his reputation, as his mother had told him time and time again.

Regelus hated himself even more then he hated his brother, for leaving her behind all those years ago. At the time, when she needed her friends more then ever.

* * *

Tatum walked down the halls and straight to the library. The safest place she new off inside the walls of the castle. Safe from the other Slytherins anyway.

The only Slytherin crazy enough to come here, was Wilona Wallis and she was most likely shopping for the ball at this point.

In the back of the room she sat down on a sofa and just stared ahead.

"you know, most people come here to read not stare" a voice said from beside her and Tatum was a little shocked. She had not seen anyone there when she sat down.

"James, what are you doing here?" she asked a little bewildered. Why would HE be here. Everybody knew his academics weren't high on his list of priorities.

"Calling me James huh?" he asked and Tatum sighed.

"Yes, but I can always go back to Potter if you wish" said her and he smiled.

"No this sounds more civilised." He replied and looked around a little.

"Thought so, now why are you here?" she asked again but instead of waiting for his answer she just followed the direction of his eyes.

"I see it's not books you are interested in." she laughed loudly drawing the attention of a certain redhead.

"Hush will you" James replied but knew it was to late. He walked forward and tried some small talk on the girl who was obviously not really interested.

"Ouch" Tatum murmured before checking the shelves behind her for a good read.

* * *

Hours went by and Tatum spent them all in the Library. Reading up on her fairytales. Cinderella was still her all time favourite. After all who did not want their life make 180 degrees turn and be good all of the sudden? Anyone with a life as painful as most pureblood children, Tatum thought cynically.

"I always wondered how much of that was real" a female voice stated beside her and Tatum groaned a little. Even in this part of the school she could not find some quiet time, she thought to herself completely ignoring the fact that she had been alone for hours on end by now.

"I always wondered how a girl could keep putting a guy down for years on end" Tatum said and the redhead sat down next to her.

"Simple, don't sleep with them" Lily said with a sneer and Tatum just laughed.

"Thanks for the tip, I'll keep it in mind." She replied and Lily chuckled a little.

"you know you aren't supposed to speak with me" Tatum asked after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence.

"I saw James speak to you...and Sirius. I recon I can too" Lily replied and Tatum just raised an eyebrow.

"I thought you hated me" Tatum then asked looking down at her shoes.

"I used to, but people change and I believe you've changed a lot lately."

"you could say that" Tatum replied and tried to blink back the tears in her eyes.

So much had changed that year. And nothing was for the better at this point.

Tatum stood up and smiled at Lily. This girl was nuts for speaking to her but she wasn't about to scare her off. She could use all the acquaintances she could get.

"Truce?" Tatum asked sticking out her hand for Lily to shake.

"Truce" Lily replied and Tatum smiled before walking away.

* * *

Tatum walked towards the great hall and found the person she was looking for quite quickly. Nina.

"Hi girl" Nina said in her chipper way and Tatum smiled brightly at her.

This girl could make her forget she had made a mess of her life.

"Hi" she replied and sat down, she needed some cheerful chatter around her and what better place to go too then the Hufflepuff table. By now they were almost accustomed to her presence.

* * *

What did you think? The next update might be a little later...I've been very busy and will be for at least another week meaning I hardly have the time to write. Besides I think it's only fair to updat my other story first. Seeing as how I've been updating this like crazy and haven't posted more then two chapters of my other story since I started writing this one!

I almost feel guilty!

Now please, please, please, let me know what you thought of this chapter! I absolutely adore reviews!(HINT HINT )


	7. I don't know how to connect

* * *

**You couldn't care less**

* * *

**Chapter 7:**

_I don't know how to connect so I disconnect._

* * *

Tatum looked ahead, drowning out the voices of the other students while Professor Slughorn wrote down their next assignment. 

She did not hear a word that was said nor did she read what was being written. She just stared ahead with thoughts going a hundred miles an hour inside of her head. Her conversation with Sirius still bothered her a little but that was not what she was struggling with at this point.

Someone had seen her speaking to Lily Evans.

And if someone thought being sneered at was tough...try living her life where people no longer make the effort of doing that.  
She was a traitor they had said to her after dinner in the common room. A blood traitor. It was the last thing they had uttered and afterwards they pretended she did not exist. Like she was only a mere shadow.

Nobody sat down beside her, nobody spoke a word. And even though the sneers and snide remarks were tough to deal with, this was much worse in Tatum's eyes.  
She just smiled when the teachers looked her way concerned and looked down when others walked by.

She was in no mood to speak too anyone outside of her house either.  
Instead she forced herself to go to all her classes before sitting down underneath her favourite tree once more. Drawing and dreaming away her free hours.  
She even missed dinner while daydreaming of a better life.  
And she did not notice until it was to late to go to the great hall, for a late supper.

Therefore she just sighed and stayed where she was until it was well past curfew. Quietly she stood up and walked into the school.  
There she made her way through the halls, dodging peeves and prefects on her way.  
Until a hand grabbed her arm and pulled her into a dark hallway, one which she normally would evade at any costs.

"It's me" a voice said and she relaxed a little.

"What are you doing Sirius?" she asked whilst turning around to face him.

"you missed dinner...care for some food?" he asked her and she smiled as her belly grumbled.

"I guess I do" she said slightly embarrassed of the not so charming grumble and just smiled a little as he dragged her along the hallways towards a painting.

He tickled the peer and she chuckled slightly as the fruit moved in weird ways, before a door opened and a house elf came out.  
They ordered some food and had small talk before he escorted her back into the right hallways.  
They looked into each others eyes and for a moment she thought he was going to kiss her.  
When he didn't she did not know whether to feel disappointment or joy. He had her feelings all mixed up as normally.

"I just want to be your friend" he said and she looked into his eyes confused.

"I don't need a friend" Tatum snapped and turned around, walking away quickly.

"I think you do" he replied and she stopped abruptly.

"you don't have the right to say what I do or do not need. You don't know me!" she said a little venomously. Her blood was boiling, how dare he! Thinking she needed anyone. As if she couldn't do anything alone.

"how can I...you never let anyone close" he murmured and she felt like he slapped her in the face.

"people always leave" Tatum said in return and then walked away with her head held high. Leaving Sirius behind, feeling guilty.

He knew what she meant. He left. Nina had left before. Reggie had left her. Even her parents left her behind whenever they felt like it, though he wondered if that was truly a bad thing.

When they were younger, they were practically forced to be friends. Not that they minded one bit, but still.  
Then at the age of ten Sirius found out Tatum was often beaten by her father.  
Time and time again he would jump in to save her and get hit instead and sometimes he only nursed her back to health.

A lot for such a young boy to deal with and even more for the little girl who had been going through it since she could remember.  
He held her hand when she cried. Fixed the toys her father had broken and he stood by her at all times.  
And then, when he got to Hogwarts, he had a chance to get away. He took it.  
But in the process of getting away from everything, he left her behind.  
Not long after, Nina left and so did Regelus.  
They all left her to fend for herself. Suddenly everybody she cared about...everyone she loved, had left her. No wonder she feared of getting close to people.

Soon after the beginning of the school year, her father died and her mother remarried. Sirius figured that everything was going to work out for her.  
Now as he saw her walk around school so lonely and in pain, he wondered.  
Was her life really any better now?

He shook the thoughts from his mind and walked towards his own common room. He needed to get some sleep...otherwise known as planning with the marauders.

Tatum sat up in her bed with the curtains closed. Tears had been cascading down her cheeks but now they had finally stopped. She wondered. Did she truly push people away? Was there nobody who had gotten close?  
He did, his younger brother had, Nina...even her mother was once close to her. What changed? They all left her behind.  
These days she tried to keep to herself. That way she would not get hurt.

Narcissa was her friend and for a long time Severus, Bellatrix and all the other Slytherins had been her friends. Yet not one of them knew her, her life and her family.  
Nobody knew that she loved to draw and dream her life away, simply to escape the hell that was her life.  
None of them were aware of the fact that the huge house she lived in, was often empty. And that is was never a real home.  
None of them knew, none of them cared really.

They all lived similar lives, except for the fact that many had parents that loved them, in their own wicked dark way.

The Black daughters, were loved.

The Malfoy's were. As were the Lestrange boys. Regelus was loved as well but he was always forced to hate his brother, therefore he had a little more to deal with then the others.

But it did not matter really, he no longer spoke to her. He had left her behind because she wasn't accepted by the other Slytherins.  
He was a pathetic weak little boy, Tatum always thought and yet if he ever were to apologise she'd be thrilled.

Tatum laid her head down on her pillow and looked up, staring at nothing and anything at all.  
Tears began falling once more and she could do nothing to stop them.  
How did Sirius always get her into this mood?

Why was he able to make her think everything over and over again? Her life was a mess and she tried to think of it as little as possible. He always made that an impossible task for her.

* * *

I'm sorry again for the wait! I hope this chapter was worth it! Let me know please!

* * *


	8. All they say is blah, blah, blah

* * *

**You couldn't care less...**

* * *

**Chapter 8:**

_All they say is blah, blah, blah_

* * *

Tatum walked down the stairs, wondering where everyone was. When she had awoken this morning, nobody had been present in her dorm room. And though she did not mind the quiet alone time, it was quite strange.  
As she slowly walked down she could hear murmurs of the many voice in the common room.  
As she came to the last step she was met by glares and evil laughing.

"look at her" Bellatrix exclaimed and some other girls just smirked.

"so innocent and kind. Where is the slytherin in you, huh?" she continued and Tatum just looked at her. Where did all this come from?

"not once did you hex us, not once did you scream" Bellatrix said while steadily walking closer to her.

"Why would I?" Tatum said as Bellatrix stood right before her.

"show some spirit" Bellatrix then said and Tatum laughed.

"no, it would be aggression, which is only a form of not being able to control yourself. I however am in complete control over myself and my emotions. Something I can't say about most of you. Letting yourself be led by silly emotions and useless hatred." Tatum said and tried to look secure and truly in control though she did not feel like it at all.  
She did not even know where this bravery came from. It was no secret that most Slytherins did not posse any bravery. Tatum surely did not. That was why she let all the others torment her for so long. That was the only true reason.  
Of course she was smart enough to not say that in front of everyone.

Bellatrix looked ready to kill and Tatum said all she could think of to say at this point to save her ass.

"Come on Bella, show me you're different. Attack me and get it over with. Lose control" she said viciously and was happy to see her trick worked. Bellatrix did all she could to stop herself from hexing the girl. She wanted to proof she was better.

Tatum smirked and walked away from the scene in a firm step.  
As soon as she was out of the common room however, she ran.  
Tears streamed down her face and shivers took over her body. She was scared. Frightened beyond believe.  
Why did she have to pretend she was strong and brave? She was all but strong, all but brave. Had she been brave she would have been living a whole other life.

A life like Sirius was leading.  
It would be a lot harder, but at least he was happy. He was true to himself. And he had found some real friends to stick with him through everything that came his way.

She looked at the door and opened, quickly walking in. Not even bothering this time, to see if anyone was already in.  
She slit down the door slowly and sat on the floor with her head between her arms.

Soon two arms pulled her near and the smell of cologne told her it was Sirius. She wasn't surprised to say the least. Something inside of her had hoped he'd be there.

"I won't leave" he whispered and she wrapped her arms around him.

The words were easy to say, but they meant so much to her.  
For a while they sat there, him softly rubbing her back and she draining herself of tears.  
After a good five minutes though, Tatum changed that.

She looked up into his eyes, not caring her make-up was running and she slowly closed the gap between their lips.  
Slowly at first but more heated with every passing minute, she kissed him deeply.  
And he responded eagerly. His hands roamed her body and his lips kept meeting hers for more.

Until he suddenly pushed her away.

"No" he said loudly as if talking to himself and her at the same time.

"WHAT?!?" Tatum exclaimed quickly standing up from where she had been sitting.

"We should not do this." He said calm.

"And why not?" she asked him confused.

"it would not mean a thing" Sirius replied, and Tatum flipped.

She slapped him in the face and stormed out of the room, not even bothering to hear the rest of his explanation.

* * *

"how dare he" she said to herself loudly while pacing around in the back of the library.

"it would not mean anything! God, who does he think he is" she continued and did not even notice the gorgeous redhead sitting down on the sofa where she stood, looking at her with an amused expression present.

It wasn't until minutes later, when Tatum did not know what else there was to say and wanted to fall down on the sofa, when she noticed the girl.

"hello" Lily said and made room for Tatum to sit.

"How long have you been sitting there?" Tatum asked curious.

"long enough to know it must have been one of the marauders." Lily said chuckling.

"how'd you guess?" Tatum smiled a little.

"they have a way of getting on your nerves with their so called good intentions. Sirius I presume?" Lily said and Tatum just groaned at the sound of his name.

Lily laughed and just looked at Tatum for an explanation.

"I know we called a truce but why are you being this kind? Like you want to be my friend?" Tatum said and immediately hoped she did not say it harshly.

"I'm sorry, it came out wrong, I just..." she quickly added and Lily just smiled.

"I figured you could use a friend right now" she said and Tatum smiled. Though it stung her a bit she knew it was the truth. In the few months of this year she had been able to ruin pretty much every friendship she had.

" he said no" Tatum murmured and Lily just looked a little bewildered, until the meaning of the words hit home and Lily was just confused.

"He never says no" she said and Tatum just looked her with a hurt expression.

"Precisely, what's wrong with me?" Lily put her arm around the girl, not knowing what to say.

* * *

"What did you do?" Lily exclaimed and looked at James with a murderous look in her eyes.

"I...didn't do anything?" he asked a little scared, but Lily just smiled and looked past him.

"I wasn't talking to you James" and before she could say anything else James pulled her in his arms.

"Finally warming up to me I see, calling me James and all. I knew you'd see it soon" he said and Lily got annoyed. So before she could scream at the one person she came here to scream at, she threw James of off her and stalked off.

Men could be so stupid.

* * *

"Nina! Who is taking you to the ball?" Tatum asked for the third time. The girl had been looking up at the sky with a dreamy expression on her face for ten whole minutes and Tatum could not take it. She knew her friend was in love, she just needed to find out who it was.  
Finally Nina looked up, but not after being shoved of the bank she was sitting on. Laughing she got up and shot Tatum a quasi mean look.

"I'm sorry love, have I been neglecting you?" She asked and Tatum shot her an annoyed look back, making Nina chuckle.

"It's just..." Nina began but Tatum just cut her off.

"Who is he?" she asked and Nina smiled.

"you know me too well...it's...hear the drum roll? It's...Rabastan" she smiled and Tatum felt like being hit with a hammer.

"Rabastan?" Tatum asked and looked over at the Slytherin table, seeing Rabastan smirk at her.

"Yes aren't you happy for me?" Nina asked a little confused.

"Happy? You do know I..." Tatum began and Nina looked a little annoyed.

"You dated him last year! Nobody cares!" Nina said loudly and Tatum felt the hammer come down once more.

"You certainly don't" Tatum said and stood up from the table. Dinner had not even begun but her hunger had disappeared suddenly.

* * *

Welll???????What did you think of this lovely chapter?

Let me know! I'll try to get the next on out as soon as possible but college is really busy this year so my writing time is limited sadly enough.


	9. Junk of the hearts

* * *

**You couldn't care less...**

* * *

**Chapter 9:**

_Junk of the hearts_

* * *

From the Gryffindor table, Lily witnessed it all and saw several faces on the Slytherin table lit up. Quickly she stood up and got in front of Tatum. 

"Sit with us. You might not be liked for it but we can be your friends" Lily stated and Tatum smiled.

"I'm not very well liked anyway. Might as well find myself some real friends, instead of the fake ones." Tatum muttered and let Lily drag her along the table.

* * *

"Lily! Are you nuts? Bringing a Slytherin to our table?" the little dark haired girl exclaimed and her friends nodded vehemently. 

"She's not like all the other Slytherin's. Trust me on that" Lily asked and Tatum smiled at her.

"Hell she isn't! They don't even like her!" A 7th year boy called out and Tatum felt as if she was shrinking with every other word that was said. Until the words reached her ears, to make her feel on top of the world.

"Leave her alone. She's our friend and if you don't like that, come and tell us" Sirius exclaimed and patted the seat next to him. Lily pulled her along and together they sat with the marauders for dinner. Many more mumbled their objections but the boys simply would not hear it. Every now and then one of them would look at the speaker and have a smart comeback to shut them up.

"Thanks guys, I don't deserve your friendship." She said and then looked at Sirius. She was still angry at him, he had truly hurt her feelings, but after he stood up for her against his own house how could she stay that angry?

"Thank you" she said softly and he smiled at her before returning to his food.

* * *

"Sitting with Gryffindor?????" Narcissa asked later on as they were getting ready for bed.

"At least nobody tried to jinx me there" Tatum said and looked at her friend.

"Look Cissy, I know you don't approve but I truly want to live through this year and the next. I can't while sitting at a table where each person tries to kill me. Except for you that is." She added and Narcissa sighed.

"Fine your choice, as long as you don't ask me to join you" she replied and Tatum smiled before hugging her friend close.

"did anyone ever tell you, you're the best?" Tatum asked happily.

"well, of course I am. But I don't mind hearing it at all. Say it as often as you'd like" Narcissa said jokingly and both girls laughed out loud.

* * *

In the common room Narcissa never left Tatum's side and Tatum was grateful. She was very much aware of the things that would happen if she would be alone. All the hatred filled Slytherins would jump her. Hex her and beat her to pulp. Life's though when you always have to look over your shoulder. 

During classes her newfound friends held her close to their sides and so she was a little safer from magic. But the words still reached her ears. The painful mutterings and the harsh rumours.

And of course the friend she lost in the midst of it. Nina.

* * *

"I can't believe you never told me" Narcissa exclaimed a few days later as she sought out her friend in the library.

"I've got no clue what you are talking about" Tatum replied as the librarian came to have a look what was causing all the noise.

"Sorry, Miss. We'll keep it down" Tatum said without looking up from her paper, just knowing the lady was looking at them disapprovingly.

"So tell me Cissy, what have I been neglecting to tell you?" Tatum then said as the pretty blond sat down before her.

"you're family of Lucius" she said excitedly.

"If you look good enough you'll find that every single pureblood family is related." She muttered and kept her eyes glued to the paper before her.

" No I mean first cousins! We'd be family once I got married" Cissy exclaimed once more and Tatum just chuckled.

"Sweetheart, we hardly saw one another as we were growing up and now that we are older we hardly bond. We may be blood related but family is a big word. His family doesn't even like me" Tatum said and Narcissa looked a little bewildered.

"Why don't they like you? I heard you never set a single toe out of line before and...well all was great you were the perfect pureblood daughter until this year..." Narcissa said getting more and more uncomfortable as she neared the end of her sentence.

"Yes well, the outsiders loved me. My own mother and father hated me. And after my father left my life, he was replaced by my step-father." Tatum muttered as pain streaked through her veins, while remembering all the painful years of her childhood.

"I'm sorry darling. But I still love you" Narcissa said and pulled her friend into a bone breaking hug, trying to take away the pain that was shining in the eyes of Tatum.

"I love you too Cissy" Tatum replied and blinked away the tears in her eyes.

* * *

"Hello darling" A voice drawled as Tatum packed her bags later that day. Narcissa had left and for a few moments she was alone again. 

Tatum turned around to face Nina.

"Hello Nina. What do you want?" Tatum asked not daring to turn her back to this girl.

"Just a nice calm and collected conversation. This was all one big misunderstanding" Nina said and for a moment Tatum's hope lifted, until she saw the look in Nina's eyes.

"oh really?" Tatum replied on her guard at once. She looked around the room in hopes of seeing a familiar face. No such luck.

"we shouldn't fight!" Nina said and Tatum just looked at her expectantly.

"we should...I don't know befriend again" Nina added and Tatum raised an eyebrow.

"And how, my friend, do you envision that?" Tatum asked and Nina smiled almost sadistically.

"Like this" she said and then shot a jinx her way.

Before Tatum could do anything however she was grabbed and held still in place. The jinx hit her and she felt her skin jerk and pull on her face. Though she felt pain, she did not feel the need to show it. And after years of practice with her parents she was now mastering the art of disguising.

Nina looked a little disappointed but was soon joined by another figure who shot a curse her way.

"Take this love, oh and I'm sorry this might happen again" Tatum heard the voice of Rabastan say and she finally screamed out in pain.

This was more then just the physical pain. Her heart was aching as well by now. Why? Why did the one boy she used to love at one point, do this to her?

She tried to look around but her vision was a blur and she choose to listen carefully.

Her screams must have alerted someone, her rescue could only be minutes away now...right?

Another ten minutes later, of being hit with curses and jinxes, Tatum was losing hope quickly. Her screams were small and whispered and her strength was quickly declining. She knew she could not last much longer.

And it was then that she heard the voices she longed to hear.

"Tatum?" clear and loud, they must be nearby. She tried to scream once more but was knocked out cold. At least she knew her saviours were nearby.

* * *

As she opened her eyes again she screamed and found her voice had been restored. Her vision was still poor but she could see a figure beside her, if only she could see who it was...

A hand clasped around her arm and she freaked. Trashing and screaming, one hand found their way to her forehead.

"Be still darling, you're alright" a voice stated and she recognised it as Narcissa immediately.

"Cissy?" Tatum whispered and the hand softly touched her cheeks and forehead.

"Yes love, it's me" Naricissa said and Tatum tried to smile.

"They hit you hard, but you'll be fine" another voice chimed in and Tatum was surprised.

"Lily?" she asked and got herself a conforming answer.

"We're all here sweets" Lily replied and she then heard the soft voices of other people as well.

Tatum felt safe immediately and let her fatigue take over.

"Thank you" she muttered before falling into a deep sleep.

* * *

* * *

Well her life isn't what you'd call perfect...and trust me it ain't getting better any time soon...

I hope you liked this chapter! Please review...that'd truly make me a happy camper!


	10. Unarmed and ready to die

**You couldn't care less...**

* * *

**Chapter 10:**

_unarmed and ready to die_

* * *

As she lay in the hospital bed she felt utterly alone. Of course Lily and Narcissa had come by and though they did not speak to one another they were able to forget their hatred for her. 

Sirius had been coming by to see her as well. Late at night when he figured she'd be asleep, he'd walk in the room and sit by her bed. It made her smile but she knew it would end once she confronted him.

Her parents however were a different story. The school had sent them the message she had been hexed into the hospital wing. They said her parents would want to know, they might want to take action. Tatum knew better.  
She received a letter from them within three days after the hexing. What was said in the letter truly appalled her but then again what did she expect from them.

* * *

_...  
What did you do?  
...  
Why did you make them angry!  
...  
Always a failure...can't believe you are mine.  
...  
Must have been switched at birth!  
..._

* * *

The letter went on and on. It hurt so bad. Still she knew not to expect any better from them.  
The words kept haunting her mind and that night she cried herself to sleep. Like the nights after that.  
She snapped at the few friends she had and ignored everyone trying to show some sympathy.

Then finally after a week she did not cry herself to sleep. Instead she lay awake, waiting for her nightly visitor to come by.  
To her horror however he saw the letter and read it. She did not want him to leave and tried to lay still, as not to betray her awake form.  
After his gasps and angry grumbled she could not keep the tears from falling.  
Softly she let the tears roll out of her eyes and down onto her pillow and she heard him sigh.  
The weight on the bed changed and she felt his arms wrap around her body.

"I'm sorry" he muttered and she just leaned into him.

"it's not your place to say sorry" she whispered after a while as the tears slowly subsided.

"I never should have left you behind. I should have been there with you in the library...I should have..." he said, sounding full of pain and guilt.

"Shsss" Tatum muttered as she turned around and softly kissed his lips.

"you're here now" she muttered and he just held her close to his body.

"I'm not leaving again" he said and Tatum smiled resting her eyes and slowly falling into the world of dreams and fairytales.

* * *

"Oh look at them. Poor misunderstood babies" shrill voices exclaimed the next morning and Tatum quickly sat up, knocking Sirius of the bed in the process. 

"Oh sorry" she whispered before looking towards the source of the voices and found her least favourite person. Bellatrix. Accompanied by her ex best friend, Nina.

"What are you doing here?" Tatum asked as Sirius stood before her with his wand held ready.

"We were told to apologise. Didn't know you were busy loving traitors" Nina said and put on her best evil look. The best she could muster and truth be told, it wasn't very convincing.

"I'd rather love those you call traitors, then ever be weak like you" Tatum replied and Sirius looked confused for a moment until Tatum explained.

"Don't look so confused Bella, I told you the other day, it's those that are not in control of their own emotions and bodies, that resolve to anger and hatred. It's weak and pathetic"

Sirius smirked and Bellatrix walked out of the hospital wing in a huff, pulling Nina along with her.

"Well, well what a bravery" Sirius muttered and Tatum let herself fall down on the bed.

"Seriously, it's going to get me killed but after years of putting up with all their crap it actually feels good!" Tatum muttered and Sirius laughed loudly.

"I bet it does, but I'd ask for some protection on your dorm room from now on!" He said and Tatum groaned at the idea of having to go back soon.

* * *

For two full weeks she remained in the hospital wing. The pain she felt in her limbs got less and less but the pain in her head and heart remained the same. 

In only a little while school would be over, she did not need to worry about being in danger in her own dorm for too long. But after that she'd have to go home.

Her parents informed her they'd be home by then. It was the first time in four years that they actually came home when school ended. Normally they'd be on vacation and wander in whenever they felt like it.

She wasn't sure which one was worse right now.

It hurt her to know that her parents did not love her. It was painful to be seen as a constant failure. But this summer she would be acknowledged. She'd be hexed once more, beaten and humiliated. She would be acknowledged and utterly miserable.

* * *

Sirius watched the girl struggle with her inner thoughts, her demons. He wished he could help seeing as his outlook had gotten so much better this year.  
After all he would be going to the Potters and call it home from now on. He would finally see what it was like to have kind, normal parents. Those who give you rules to follow but do not curse you when you break one. They give fair punishments. Like grounding them. Which by the way happened quite often last summer. Of course they broke that rule as well... 

He smiled as he thought back of his summer and wondered what hers had been like. Had she been alone? Were her parents there to hurt her? Were they away, hurting her all the same?

He wondered, but he dared not ask. He dared not to open up those wounds.

* * *

Tatum got out of the hospital wing a few days later and fought to stay alive the last month of school.  
Bellatrix had gotten everybody to hate her. All except for Narcissa. That girl stood by her and had even acknowledged Lily once without calling her mudblood. She truly was a great friend and Tatum felt a little better, knowing she wasn't totally alone in the world. 

Sirius kept her close at all times and was afraid to let her go when it was time to go home.  
The entire train ride they were silent, dreading each moment they got closer to London. Tatum got restless and though her friends tried to make her feel better, not one of them was able to do that.

Narcissa picked her up from the compartment where she had been sitting with the Griffindors. Now it was time to be a Slytherin once more.  
She walked out of the train and out of the station without a glace backwards.  
She stepped into the car and let the driver take her home, while Narcissa held her hand tightly.  
She could not come with her though and as the car stopped a few blocks away from Tatum's house, Narcissa stepped out and walked towards her own home.

A home where she would be welcomed with open arms.

Tatum however awaited another welcome, but a welcome it would be.  
She got out of the car and opened the door to the huge mansion before her.

She didn't bother to grab her wand...it would do her no good anyhow. She just closed the door and held her eyes glued to the floor as she heard footsteps coming out of the dining room.

* * *

Well did you all like this update? I'd love to receive some reviews! And I want to thank everyone for the reviewsI've already received! They are very much appreciated!!!!! I love getting reviews! 


	11. Your dad is not guilty

* * *

**You couldn't care less...**

* * *

**Chapter 11:**

_Your dad is not guilty, you came out a little faulty_

* * *

A curse was shouted, a light came rushing towards her and she fell to the floor in pain and agony. Her lips tightly shut, trying not to cry out as tears streamed down her face. Hell on earth had just started for her.

After what seemed like hours, but was most likely just 5 minutes, Tatum felt her eyes droop and her world turned darker. Another small hex was all it took for the entire light going out.

* * *

When Tatum woke up she was in her bed being nursed back to health by the family house elf. 

"Thanks Dribble" Tatum groaned and the elf squeaked.

"Miss is finally awake!" he exclaimed and Tatum winced slightly at his high pitched voice.

"How long have I been out?" Tatum asked and Dribble seemed to be thinking hard about this.

"Three days now miss. Dribble hid letters for the miss yesterday" he said and Tatum smiled brightly.

"Thank you so much Dribble, could you give them to me?" she asked and Dribble nodded before leaving with a loud pop.

It took the creature only two minutes to return and he beamed at his mistress while handing her three different letters. Dribble bowed to Tatum and left her alone to read in private.  
Happily she opened the first and was surprised to see it was from Sirius.

* * *

_Dear Tatum,_

_I was wondering how you were doing two days into the holidays. Nobody has heard from you, not even Narcissa I've heard!  
Is everything alright? Did they hurt you?  
Just let me know if you're alright or not!_

_Sincerely,_

_Sirius_

* * *

Tatum smiled as she laid the letter next to her underneath a pillow. If someone would walk in they would not know she had received a letter from the shunned kid. After all it was a sin to speak to a disowned pureblood even if you were considered a fraud yourself. 

She looked at the second letter and recognised the handwriting of her best friend.

* * *

_Hello darling,_

_How are we doing these days? Has it been nice at home?  
I was wondering if you'd like to come over later this holiday. The door is always open, even if my sweet sister tries to close it for you!_

_Love,_

_Narcissa._

* * *

Tatum laughed out loud at the comment and silently thanked her friend for sticking by her side. She had no idea how she'd survive without her loyal friend by her side. 

Meeting Narcissa must have been one of the best moments in her life! If not the best.

She counted her blessings quickly and opened the third letter.

Lily's.

* * *

_Hello,_

_I'm not sure it's alright to be writing you but I just had too! Narcissa owled me and told me she had not heard from you. We're worried.  
Worried enough to converse! Can you believe it! It must have taken her a lot of courage to do that! I'm proud of her...  
Write back soon darling!_

_Love,_

_Lily_

* * *

Tatum laughed once more at the sarcasm in Lily's letter and was glad that her friends cared enough to speak to one another.  
Though Lily had been joking in her letter, Tatum knew it had taken quite a lot from Narcissa to decide and write her.  
If her parents found out she'd be in deep trouble.

They accepted her friendship to Tatum but a muggle born would never be allowed.  
She closed the letter and summoned her quill and some parchment. With all the magic going about the house, they'd never notice she was using underage magic.

Quickly she scribbled some short notes back, not telling one of them how serious the fight had been, and told her owl to bring them to their respectable owners.  
After that Tatum decided to get some more sleep and closed her eyes. Shortly after she was fast asleep again.

* * *

Three hours later Dribble woke her up and told her it as time to show her face again at dinner.  
She stood up and went into the bathroom for a quick refreshing shower.  
As she began to wash her hair as stinging pain shot through her head and she brought her hand up to feel a large gash across her head.  
Quickly she washed out the soap and washed her body, wincing every once in a while as she discovered new scratches, bruises and gashes all over.

Within ten minutes she was expected at the dinning table and she quickly threw on a formal dress and dried her hair by magic. With make-up she did not bother at this point. It was of no use now. Her face was far too bruised for make-up to disguise any of it.  
Quietly she walked down and into the room, hoping to stay unnoticed as long as possible. Unfortunately Luck wasn't on her side.

"Tatum!" her stepfathers voice boomed throughout the room as soon as she opened the door and she cringed.

"Yes father?" she replied timidly and he laughed devilishly.

"you're no daughter of mine!" he called out and shot another curse her way.

"Seriously Delinda love, what kind of man could her father have been to give you such a monster of a child?" her stepfather said and her mother laughed loudly.

"This disaster can't even be blamed on him anymore. She's just faulty on her own account!" her mother exclaimed and both laughed loudly.

Tears stung her eyes as she tried to keep her head high in the presence of these cruel people.  
After a glare from her mother however she lowered her head and took a seat at the table.

"Don't sit there!" Her mother exclaimed and Tatum jumped up quickly.

She looked at her mother and found she was pointing towards the kitchens.

"With the house elves you'll eat!" Her mother said without a single emotions showing on her face.

"Scum like her" her stepfather said and again both laughed loudly as she quickly exited the room.

They probably figured it would hurt her to be forced to eat with the house elves, but in reality Tatum would trade those elves for her family any day.

* * *

After that day the days slowly stretched forward and each day Tatum was hit by at least one spell.  
It was almost like her parents made a game out of it. Each time they crossed her in the halls, they'd give it their best shot.  
Up until now her mother had been gentle on her but even that gentleness was wearing thin these days.

She wrote her thoughts down in her dairy and wrote her friends happy letters. Telling them things were alright. A lot better then she expected them to be.  
She was far to scared to tell the truth. What if her parents checked her mail? She'd have hell to pay if they did and she wrote unkind things!  
Each night Tatum cried herself to sleep and hoped to die. Her life had hit an all-time low and she saw no way of getting out before the end of the summer.

Ruefully she thought of Sirius, who'd be having a great time at the Potters and Narcissa who would be with her loving family. Well all except for Andromeda, but still there was another sister and two loving parents.  
Lily as well, her sister would be giving her trouble but her parents would be happy.  
They all had no idea how could their lives were exactly. They were truly blessed.

All her blessing were those she had counted out earlier that week. The fact that she had a few good friends by her side.  
She appreciated them deeply, but more then anything she wished for a loving family of her own!

* * *

"Crusio!" was shouted as Tatum walked towards the library. A little to late she ducked and hit her head hard on the closet next to the entrance of the library.

She felt blood oozing out and weakness overcame her as she screamed bloody murder.  
The last thing she heard was the evil laugh of her stepfather.

* * *

I really hope you all like this update!

I wanted to give some notes on who deserves credit!!  
The titles to this story are taken from songs by the Cardigans. If you don't know them you should really check them out! I absolutely adore them!  
As for the characters such as Lily, Sirius and James...well they belong to J.K. Rowling as you all know!  
And as for all those things unknown, such as Nina and Tatum and the plot...they belong to me!

**Thanks for taking the time to read and I'll update as soon as possible again! **


	12. The Bad times we'll have

**You couldn't care less...**

* * *

**Chapter 12:**

_The bad times we'll have_

* * *

Blood kept streaming out and there was no way of stopping it. Her mother would not lent her a hand and neither would her stepfather.  
She had lost conscious shortly but once she had regained it her parents stood above her laughing.  
She struggled to move and crawled towards her room as quick as she could. Things were really starting to look bad for her as she was slowly losing focus.  
Only three more feet before she'd be there but it seemed to be three miles. 

"Help me" she whispered and her mother laughed before kicking her in the ribs.

"you don't deserve any help" her stepfather muttered and kicked her as well.

She groaned and cried out in pain each single time, but they weren't done just yet.  
Each inch she crawled forward, they'd be ready to kick her to the ground and when she finally reached the door to her room they closed the door for her.  
Another unforgivable curse was shouted and she fell down in pain, misery running through her veins.

"Please stop" she begged them and was relieved to feel the Cruciatus Curse being lifted from her fragile body. But she celebrated to early.

"Do it!" she heard her mother say to her stepfather and he laughed before muttering softly.

She lost control of her movements and soon figured out that they had used the imperius curse on her. They made her stand up and dance around while her body was in so much pain it nearly killed her to stand. After that they made her run into a wall about three times until they saw she was losing consciousness.

"That's no fun" he mother muttered and told her husband to wait a few moments before continuing.

* * *

After what seemed like hours they lifted the curse. Tatum dragged herself across the hallway to her room and quickly went in before locking the door. She cried as she pulled herself up onto her bed and then cried when a loud pop was heard near her ears. 

"I'll take care of you miss" Dribble muttered and tilted her head a little in order to pour in some potion.

"you'll feel better when you wake up" Dribble muttered and looked at his mistress with pain in his eyes.  
She was the only member in the family ever kind to the house elves. He knew she had to get out soon. In order to get her out he packed her bags quickly. She'd be able to go as soon as she was strong enough to walk again.

* * *

It took Tatum another week to get back some of her strength and once she did Dribble told her of his plan.  
He'd drop something, distracting her parents. That way she'd be able to get to the library and use the floo network to get to a friend.  
Tatum smiled at the kind elf and hugged him close, surprising the little creature so much he cried loudly. 

"Please be quiet my dear friend! I don't want you to get hurt" she muttered and explained to him that his plan was far to dangerous on his behalf.

"The others will help me miss! We wants you to be okay!" the elf exclaimed and Tatum felt tears well up in her eyes.

"Is miss sad?" he asked her and she chuckled.

"I'm very happy to have you in my life, Dribble! As soon as I can I'll get you out of here! I promise!" she said and he smiled.

"Give me ten minutes, miss" he said and left with a loud pop.

* * *

As soon as he left another elf came and grabbed her bags for her. 

"I'll manage" Tatum said feeling guilty for involving the little creatures in her house.  
If they were caught they'd surely be in deep trouble.

"no bother miss" Nilly said and counted down the seconds before popping away.

Tatum took this as her signal to dash across the hall towards her way of escaping.  
She jumped into the hearth and threw some power before calling out her destination.  
However before she was consumed by the flames her mother ran in and shot on last curse at her.  
She cried out and fell out of the hearth at her destination while still squirming under the cruciatus Curse.

* * *

"Tatum" A voice screamed loudly and two arms wrapped around her body, hoping to shoot the pain. 

"It's alright sweetheart. You're safe now" Narcissa muttered ordering a house elf to take care of her things while she called for her mother.

"Cissy what is all the racket about?" Her father asked running into their library.

"Dad where is mother, Tatum need help!" Narcissa exclaimed and her father looked a little shocked before calling out for his wife.

"Druella!" he called and soon footsteps were heard down the hall.

"My, my what a shouting" she muttered as she came in.She stopped in her tracks however as she saw the limp figure in her daughters arms.

"Cissy what happened?" She asked her daughter and walked towards her.

"I don't know mother, I know her parents hurt her sometimes but I never knew it was this bad!" Narcissa cried and was comforted by the actions of her mother as she made some alterations to the room and conjured a bed.

"Sirius tried to warn me" Narcissa muttered and quickly looked up in shock when she realised she'd said it out loud.

"We do not speak that name in this house Cissy" her father said sternly and Narcissa hung her head low nodding slightly in shame.

* * *

For three hours Druella Black worked her magic in Tatum and Narcissa stood by the bed, waiting in fear. 

"Will she be alright mother?" She asked and her mother sighed.

"once again darling I'm sure she'll be alright! It'll just take some time to heal" she replied and Narcissa nodded, feeling a little more reassured.

She didn't know what her life would be like without Tatum and she sure as hell didn't want to find out. The girl was her best friend and they had been through so much together. And even though their lives were starting to look very different they knew they always had each other. Narcissa was happy to know Tatum knew this as well. Otherwise she would not have come.  
And as Druella finished the magical healing it was up to Narcissa to make sure Tatum's healing process would be quick and as painless as possible.

"Don't worry Tatum, everything will be alright, I'll make sure of that!" Narcissa muttered and smiled as she felt Tatum's hand grip hers as tightly as was possible in her weakened state.

* * *

_I'm very sorry for the long wait. I tried posting this chapter on another site and it was rejected. Therefore I had to decide to rewrite it in it's totallity or only for that site. I've decided to post the original part here and I really hope you'll like it. I know it's quite dark and very explicit when it comes to violence but I do think this works for the plot._

_I've hope you enjoyed this chapter and before I forget I like to say a few things._

_- The title of the story and all it's chapters, come from Cardigans songs. If you don't know them I suggest you look them up on youtube because I simply adore their music.  
- All the familiar characters belong to J.K. Rowling  
- And last but not least... Tatum, Nina etc. And the plotline belong to me...that's the only part I dare to take credit for my friends!_

_With that said...I'll be going to write a little more. I'll update as soon as I can and in the mean time I'd love a response on my question. ( posted on my homepage!)_

* * *


	13. The Bad times we'll have 2

_Just a quick note beforehand. This is not a new chapter but the last chapter revised. As I mentioned before I could not post the original chapter 12 on this site I'm also posting on. Therefore I had to rewrite it for the most part. I did not want you guyss to miss out on that rewritten version, so here it is. I hope you like it. Let me know which one you like the most please!!!  
_

* * *

**You couldn't care less...**

* * *

**Chapter 12: **_The bad times we'll have_

* * *

Tatum lay on her bed. Her muscles aching as she counted her new scars. Things were quickly changing in her life. Nothing would ever be the same.  
Somehow she had hoped things would not be this bad. Somehow she had hoped that her parents would really love her now.  
Although she knew she was not the perfect daughter to them, she still longed for their love. She wanted them to stop hurting her.  
It just didn't seem like something that would happen any time soon.  
They had made it clear that they would not love her now or in the foreseeable future. They did not speak much but actions can speak so much louder then words ever will.

* * *

She was only three weeks into the holiday but it felt like years. It was almost like her parents were experimenting and Tatum was the guinea pig. She was the rat they tested on. And she meant nothing to the testers.  
Well maybe not nothing, after all hate is a meaningful feeling. She never knew why they hated her so much, but she dared not to ask anything about it. What if the answer would hurt even more? 

Being left in the dark was scary and painful but the truth might be just that much worse. She would not risk it. Not now, not today.  
No for now she choose the dark, maybe in the future she would have the strength, the bravery to ask such questions. And to stand around long enough to hear the answer that was formed.

She sighed and layed her head back on her pillow. Done counting scars on her body. There were plenty to keep counting but they were not as deep as the scars on her heart and soul. If only she could have been borne in a different place and time. If only things would have been different. If only.  
But things are as they are, nothing she could do about it right now. Another sigh erupted and she thought of the last thing her parents did this summer.

* * *

It had been three days since she ran into her room, well crawled is more like it.  
_Tatum had dragged herself across the hallway to her room and quickly went in before locking the door securely behind her, with every spell she could think of.  
She had cried as she pulled herself up onto her bed and then winced when a loud pop was heard near her ears._

"_I'll take care of you miss" Dribble had muttered and tilted Tatum's head a little in order to pour in some potion._

"_you'll feel better when you wake up" Dribble had said and then looked at his mistress with pain in his eyes. She was the only member in the family ever kind to the house elves. He knew she had to get out soon.  
In order to get her out as quickly as possible, he packed her bags as fast as his body would let him. She'd be able to go as soon as she was strong enough to walk again._

* * *

It took Tatum another week to get back some of her strength and once she did Dribble told her of his plan. He'd drop something, distracting the household. That way she'd be able to get to the library and use the floo network to get to a friend.  
Tatum smiled at the kind elf and hugged him close, surprising the little creature so much he cried loudly. 

"Please be quiet my dear friend! I don't want you to get hurt" she muttered and explained to him that his plan was far to dangerous on his behalf.

"The others will help me miss! We wants you to be okay!" the elf exclaimed and Tatum felt tears well up in her eyes.

"Is miss sad?" he asked her and she chuckled.

"I'm very happy to have you in my life, Dribble! As soon I can I'll get you out of here I will! I promise, I'll come back for you!" she said and he smiled.

"Give me ten minutes, miss" he said and left with a loud pop.

As soon as he left another elf came and grabbed her bags for her.

"I'll manage" Tatum said feeling guilty for involving the little creatures in her house.

If they were caught they'd surely be in very deep trouble.

"no bother miss" Nilly said and counted down the seconds before popping away.

Tatum took this as her signal to dash across the hall towards her way of escaping.

She jumped into the hearth and threw some powder before calling out her destination. However before she was consumed by the flames one last curse was shot at her. She cried out and fell out of the hearth at her destination while still squirming under the after-effects of the cruciatus Curse.

* * *

"Tatum" A voice screamed loudly and two arms wrapped around her body, hoping to shoot the pain. 

"It's alright sweetheart. You're safe now" Narcissa muttered ordering a house elf to take care of her things while she called for her mother.

"Cissy what is all the racket about?" Her father asked running into their library.

"Dad where is mother, Tatum need help!" Narcissa exclaimed and her father looked a little shocked before calling out for his wife.

"Druella!" he called and soon footsteps were heard down the hall.

"My, my what a shouting" she muttered as she came in.

She stopped in her tracks however as she saw the limp figure in her daughters arms.

"Cissy what happened?" She asked her daughter and walked towards her.

"I don't know mother," Narcissa cried and was comforted by the actions of her mother as she made some alterations to the room and conjured a bed.

"Sirius tried to warn me" Narcissa muttered and quickly looked up in shock when she realised she'd said it out loud.

"We do not speak that name in this house Cissy" her father said sternly and Narcissa hung her head low nodding slightly in shame.

* * *

For three hours Druella Black worked her magic in Tatum and Narcissa stood by the bed, waiting in fear. 

"Will she be alright mother?" She asked and her mother sighed.

"Once again darling I'm sure she'll be alright! It'll just take some time to heal" she replied and Narcissa nodded, feeling a little more reassured.

She didn't know what her life would be like without Tatum and she sure as hell didn't want to find out.  
The girl was her best friend and they had been through so much together.  
And even though their lives were starting to look very different they knew they always had each other. Narcissa was happy to know Tatum knew this as well. Otherwise she would not have come.  
And as Druella finished the magical healing it was up to Narcissa to make sure Tatum's healing process would be quick and as painless as possible.

"Don't worry Tatum, everything will be alright, I'll make sure of that!" Narcissa muttered and smiled as she felt Tatum's hand grip hers as tightly as was possible in her weakened state.

* * *

_As I mentioned above this chapter. This was the one that I posted on another site ( harrypotterfanfiction) Because they did not allow the graphic way in which I described the childabuse._

_Anyway I did not want to keep either one of the two versions from you and I'd love to know which one you like the most!!!!_

_So please, if you could review for me, that would be great really!!:D_


	14. The Bad times we had

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**You couldn't care less...**

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**Chapter 13:**_The bad times we had_

* * *

It took Tatum three whole days to even wake up and by that time Narcissa was beside herself with worry.

"Why do you care ? She's nothing" Bellatrix had mentioned more then one time but Narcissa did not listen. Tatum was her best friend, she knew nobody like the girl.

"She's worthless" Bella tried again and Narcissa grumbled some incoherent words, as she did not quite catch her sisters words.

"Let it go, let her go" Nina now tried, she had been with them the entire summer. Bellatrix's new best friend.

"What is she doing here?" Narcissa asked now that she realised Nina was there.

"She's a guest" Bella replied smugly and Narcissa looked at the girl in disgust.

"SHE is nothing! Absolutely NOTHING" Narcissa exclaimed pointing at Nina and Bellatrix just laughed loudly as she looked at the slightly uncomfortable face of Nina.

"Bella you don't even like her, do you?" Narcissa asked and Bellatrix smiled.

"It's not a matter of liking or disliking. I like to keep her close" she replied and Narcissa rolled her eyes before pushing them out of Tatum's room.

* * *

"Those, my friend, I'll never understand" she muttered and Tatum smiled slightly.

"Neither will I" she replied and Narcissa screamed in delight as she noticed her friend's open eyes.

"you're awake!!!!!" she exclaimed and told a house elf to call her mother.

"My mother patched you up" She then added proudly.

"I'll be forever grateful" Tatum replied just as Druella Black walked in.

"Don't be silly, I'm sure your parents would have done the same for Narcissa." She replied and Tatum snorted a little before wincing in pain.

"For her maybe, but they would have let me die" she replied and Druella looked a little surprised. Children were not supposed to speak of their parents in such a way. But then again, they did nearly kill the girl. Druella therefore decided to let it go for now. It would not be long before she would be the perfect pureblood child she had always been.  
A shudder went through Druella as she thought of the consequences for her family's reputation if this girl were to be a traitor. She had to be normal. Better then her good for nothing nephew.  
Druella later figured she had been right all along. For the rest of the summer Tatum had remained at their home. She had been a more then welcome companion for Narcissa after Bellatrix moved out. And she had set a foot out of line. Druella was pleased.

* * *

Tatum smiled ruefully as she watched Druella look over the wedding pictures.  
Three weeks after she had arrived at the Black's residence, Bellatrix was to be married. Her husband was Rudolphus Lestrange and was nearly as vicious as his wife. Nearly being the keyword their, for on their wedding day he did not bother with Tatum, he left her be. Bella, of course, did not! The entire day she'd make nasty comments and sent minor hexes at the girl. And if she wasn't around to do it, one of her minions would take care of it.  
The whole day had been hell for Tatum.

But out of gratitude for the help Druella Black had given her, she did not speak up. She did not want to ruin the day.  
After all she already had to suffer the fact that her third daughter, Adromeda, was not around. The absence and the shame Druella felt because of that, was enough suffering according to Tatum.  
On the bright side of things. After that day, Bellatrix left the manor she grew up in. In addition Nina left and things finally settled down a little.

There weren't many enormous balls given that summer, for the feeling of upcoming war had put the entire community a little paranoia.  
One party could lead the ministry to the death eaters and for now they were not supposed to be exposed. Of course Tatum knew who most were already, how could she not. Most Slytherins had joined after all.  
She just wished she was not one of them. She no longer wanted to be associated with the other Slytherins and she surely did not want anything to do with Voldemort, as the big threat had been calling himself.

She chuckled after first hearing the name, she remembered the moment so vividly.

* * *

"_He calls himself Voldemort" Narcissa had said and Tatum raised an eyebrow while chuckling slightly. She saw in her mind a man standing before he. His body was small, tiny and his face looked boyish. He wasn't more then a fragile looking man who had not achieved anything in his life and therefore got angry with society and decided to attack them. _

That view changed however, after the first few attacks had come to light.

Innocent people had been killed by the one curse nobody was allowed to speak.

There bodies had been found after days, when the rotting process had already started to set in. The smell had been said to be immense and even the aurors had been shocked by the discovery.

* * *

She shuddered now at that memory, because that was the day her image of Lord Voldemort changed.

Before her eyes she now saw a man. Tall and strong with eyes that would make anyone cower under them and big hands that could crush anything within their reach.  
Yes over the summer things had changed a lot. She dared not to contact her friends from Gryffindor in fear of sending the devil at their heels and she dared not even think of them. She dared not show anyone that she was not one of them.  
She pretended to be the perfect pureblood daughter, that each and everyone had always thought she was.  
When summer ended and school started up again, she'd be glad.  
The way Tatum saw it, Hogwarts was the only safe haven she had at this point. And even though she had to face her housemates again, she did not fear it all that much.  
Housemates she could handle. The big bad world out there she could not.

A chill went down her spine as she thought of all the things she was going to have to face once this school year was over and she felt fear grip her heart.  
Trying to shake it off she told herself that she had already been through quite a lot. Horrors she had already seen and she was still standing tall. With the help from her friends she would have to be able to take on the world as well.  
She just hoped never to be a part of the war that was going to come pretty soon.

* * *

"Tatum come over here!" Narcissa called out from the garden door and Tatum smiled. Two weeks until school would start up again. Two weeks without Bellatrix, Nina or Rabastan. Two weeks of utter relaxation with only her best friend Narcissa.

She smiled and grabbed a book from the shelves beside her before following her friend outside and into the setting sun.

The weather was beautiful, warm and bright, just the way it was meant to be during the summer.

"Can you believe there are only two more weeks left of the summer?" Narcissa asked as she laid down on the seat next to the pool.

"Two long and relaxing weeks, without any trouble! I like that idea" Tatum replied and Narcissa laughed with she asked for a parasol to keep out the last rays of the sun. She could not dream of ruining her lovely pale skin after all!

* * *

Well???? What do you think? I didn't get an answer to my last question ( second chapter 12) but I guess it'll have to do then.  
Let me know if you're still enjoying the story.

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	15. Good times, bad times

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**You couldn't care less...**

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**Chapter 14: **_Good times, bad times_

* * *

Tatum looked around the station and smiled. She was going home! It sounded so corny and usually only ravenclaws would be this happy to have a new school year trust upon them, but Tatum was really relieved to go back.  
After all her summer had not been that great and she had missed her friends.  
She was happy to have spend a large amount of time with Narcissa but the constant chatter about Voldemort was beginning to bug her. She felt no sympathy for the man and she did not wish to join his army.  
No, she was ready to speak to her other friends again. If, of course, they would still be her friend. She had not been able to reach them and they probably had no idea where she had been all that time.

* * *

She entered the train and found her and Narcissa an empty compartment. She sat down and waited for her friend to come in. At the moment she was busy saying goodbye to her parents, who were once more telling her about the effects of mentioning her cousins name again. Tatum had felt guilty. Narcissa only acknowledged Sirius because of Tatum. If it had not been for her, she would not have known what the boy was up to at all. But Narciussa told her not to worry about a thing. Her parents just nagged a little but they weren't truly obsessively angry with her. Things were fine.  
The whistle sounded and Narcissa quickly ran inside as the train slowly began to move. She waved one last time and then beamed at her friend. 

"I can't believe we're going back!" Narcissa said and Tatum smiled at her.

"I've missed it!" Tatum muttered and Narcissa laughed.

"Well I wouldn't go that far, but it's not that bad." She replied and Tatum chuckled slightly.

" Won't you be missing Lucius?" Tatum asked and Narcissa sighed.

"Yes I most likely will but I've got my friends, and I see him when we'll visit Hogsmeade next week." Narcissa said, still smiling.

"We've got a Hogsmeade weekend?" Tatum asked surprised.

"No not really but it's our anniversary" Narcissa replied while her cheeks flushed pink a little bit.

"How sweet" Tatum exclaimed and laughed the embarrassed face her friend was pulling.

The door opened and both girls whipped around, looking into the face of a young mister Black.

"Reggie" Tatum muttered and he looked at her with sorrow in his eyes.

"Hi" he muttered and then looked at his niece with a small smile.

Narcissa took the hint and bolted out the door while Regelus sat down beside Tatum.

* * *

"I've heard" he muttered and Tatum just raised an eyebrow. 

"about your summer" he added and Tatum just nodded slightly.

"I'm sorry" he said after a long silence and Tatum just looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"it's not your place to be sorry" she muttered and he pulled her close to him.

"I should have been there for you! I abandoned you and I should have never done that" he said and Tatum did the first thing that came to mind.

She hugged him close.  
She knew they'd never be friends again, not like they had been before, not while she was still talking to his brother, but she was glad to hear him say he was sorry. It felt good. Liberating even. She was finally able to put that part of her past behind her and it felt great.  
She pulled away from him and smiled before softly kissing his lips.

"you need to go!" she said and he looked at her confused.

"Why?" he asked her and she smiled once more at him.

"I'm not someone you should be speaking too. Your parents would not be happy and you know they would find out!" she replied and he nodded at her.

"But I want to be your friend" he muttered and she just shrugged.

"it's safer if we're not" she now said and stood up, opening the door for him.

Behind the door stood Rabastan and for a moment Tatum was staring at him motionless.

"I was looking for Regelus...didn't expect to find him here. Playing with the filth." He said and Tatum was brought back to reality.  
She forced tears to her eyes and glared at him.

"As if you did not know he was here!?!" Tatum screamed and Rabastan looked a little surprised.

"I know you sent him here to hurt my feelings! Well guess what, I don't really care, just take your faithful lackey" Tatum continued and Regelus looked crushed for a moment but then covered it up and stood beside Rabastan.

"Come on, she's not worth the trouble" Regelus said and Rabastan just nodded his head before turning away and walking back to their own compartment.

* * *

The screaming however got the attention of some faithful friends and before Tatum could register what was happening, four marauder boys stood before her and challenged Regelus and Rabastan. 

"Sirius!" Tatum softly said and he gave her a smile before turning back to his opponents.

"please don't" she then muttered and was supported in this plea by Lily.

"As a headgirl I'm expected to stop you, before anything happens. I could even hand out detentions...don't make me" Lily said in a clear and yet soft voice.  
Slowly but surely both parties dropped their wands and walked away from one another. Not once turning their backs though.

"Thanks Lily" Tatum muttered and quickly followed the marauders.

"Sirius!" she called out and all four boys stopped in their tracks.

"We'll just be in here" James said and pulled Peter and Remus along with him. They were quickly followed by Lily, which left Sirius and Tatum on their own in the hall.

* * *

"Hi" she muttered and then acted on impulse, pulling him close to her. He sighed and hugged her back, rubbing her back soothingly. 

"It's been a while" he said and she just nodded before kissing him, passionately.  
Quickly he responded and pulled her towards the bathrooms, keeping her body close to his.

"Far to long" Tatum breathed and smiled. He still wanted her. He would not abandon her this time. He'd stick around. He had too! He loved her.  
At least she hoped he did because there wasn't much love going around at the moment and she needed someone to love her. Someone to show her that everything would be alright as soon as they left school.  
She needed to be told that there was only one more year. A year where he would keep her safe.  
Although she knew it was near impossible to keep her safe from all harm, she needed to be told it was in fact quite possible. She wanted to feel safe and sheltered of only for a little while.

She missed the sad eyes looking at her and Sirius as they walked into the bathroom and missed the snide comment made by Rabastan.  
"See! I told you see was a huge slut! Even sleeping with that filthy brother of yours" Rabastan exclaimed and Regelus just nodded, trying to mask his feelings.  
Tatum had been right, it would be better to never be friends again...

* * *

_Well that's chapter 14. I'm through my prewritten chapters now and due to the huge writersblock I have had for this story, the next chapter might take longer than a week. I'll try to keep it below a twe weeks wait._

_Anyway I really hope you liked this chapter. From now on things will be changing for both sides, good and bad._


	16. The storm that I believe in

**You couldn't care less...**

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* * *

**Chapter 15: **_The Storm that I believe in_

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* * *

"I can't believe they let such filth in here" a voice muttered, just loud enough for Tatum to hear.

"I can't believe she actually still has friends" another voice agreed and laughing the two voices moved away, while Tatum tried to convince the earth to swallow her whole.  
There has got to be more then this, Tatum thought to herself. Really life sucked and it wasn't getting better...would it EVER get better? She started to doubt, things surely weren't looking up for her.  
Narcissa just sighed and pulled her friend of the couch. 

"This isn't working" Narcissa said softly and pulled Tatum through their common room entrance.

"What do you mean? "Tatum asked alarmed and Narcissa just raised her eyebrows.

"I mean that those people will kill you as soon as your back is turned." Narcissa replied and then walked into the great hall. 

As soon as Tatum sat down by her table however, the rest cleared out. Names were called and jinxes were shot. Luckily none hit target, but Tatum knew she needed to get out before Narcissa was hurt.  
They were only one day back and already Tatum had nowhere to turn too.  
She hadn't slept at all that night, out of fear of being choked in her sleep and she now felt the consequences of the lack of rest. She was tired, slower and quite cranky. Not the best conditions when you need to fight in order to keep our friends.

* * *

Tatum received her timetable and found it torn and tattered already. 

"They even try to keep me from my classes?" Tatum muttered and stood up to speak with her head of house.

"Professor!" she called out as she stood before the teachers table but Slughorn tried to ignore.

"Professor!" she tried again and he sighed loudly, earning sniggers from her housemates.

"yes, Miss Winthrop?" he asked her annoyed and suddenly she felt the urge to smack him in the face. However her years of pureblood living taught her to never be disrespectful to your head of house. After all they expected her to be a Slytherin from day one and a Slytherin was to be respected at all times. 

"My timetable is a little unclear" Tatum said and Slughorn just rolled his eyes at her. 

"Then make it clear!" he replied and Tatum tried to object but was cut off again.

"I don't want to hear it Miss Winthrop" he replied and Tatum just sighed. He must have been alerted by her parents. Another sigh erupted her mouth as she began to make her way out of the great hall.

"Miss Winthrop!" the voice of Professor McGonagal called out after her and she turned around quickly.

"Yes, professor?" she asked politely and for a small moment she thought she saw the woman smile. 

"Hand me that timetable will you please?" she asked and Tatum obliged quickly. Maybe she wasn't hated by the entire world after all. McGonagal repaired her timetable and then left again, leaving Tatum alone in the empty hall. 

"It's not very smart to walk here on your own" a voice said from behind her and she jumped at the sound. 

"It's not nice to sneak up on people." Tatum replied before turning towards the speaker.

"I never said I was nice" the voice replied and Tatum smiled while stepping closer to the sound.

"Oh but you are" she replied while standing right before the speaker.

"Tatum, what makes you think I'm nice" Sirius asked her smirking.

"You" she just replied before kissing him deeply. He smiled against her lips as he pulled her body closer to his. 

"please don't! I might barf!" A male voice exclaimed and both Tatum and Sirius chuckled before turning towards James Potter.

"I'll keep that in mind, my friend" Tatum said and stepped away from Sirius while saying goodbye to both boys. It was time for the horror of classes.

Advanced D.A.D.A first, at least no Slytherin would be in there...

* * *

The day progressed and Tatum was getting more and more discouraged. Maybe she could not handle this after all.  
At the end of the day she had double potions and she feared for the Slytherins she'd meet there AND the teacher teaching the subject. It had already been made clear that she was not wanted by either one of them.  
A hand enclosed around hers just as she was about to step into the room and a little shocked she looked up to meet the dark eyes of Sirius Black. 

"Time to meet our doom" he joked and Tatum just squeezed his hand tight before stepping in. 

"Well would you look at that" Nina exclaimed and got everyone's attention. 

"Filth and filthier are an item" she added and Rabastan stood up beside her. His eyes burning holes in Tatum's and she nearly stepped back, she would have if Sirius didn't jerk her hand a little as a signal.

"Don't back down now" he muttered and She looked into his eyes with fear shining through in her own eyes. 

"Ahh, aren't they cute?" Nina asked and Rabastan slapped her upside the head. 

"Nothing near cute comes to mind when I look at them" he replied and Nina looked up at him.

"And when you look at me?" she asked a little softer.

"it's even worse then" he said and his friends sniggered while Nina just sat down pouting. 

Tatum sighed softly and sat down in the back of the room, before laying her head in her arms. Sirius sighed and sat down beside her.

"You should not let them get to you so much" he replied and Tatum's head shot up.

"Really! Well sorry if I do!" she snapped and Sirius just growled a little before grabbing his books. 

The class progressed much too Tatum's believes. Slughorn ignored her most of the time and said nothing of the jinxes send her way.  
He must have seen them! Must have! How could he not, they didn't really try the subtle approach. Most however missed her by an inch. They were obviously just trying to scare her. Tatum knew that and tried to ignore it. And she was doing a pretty good job at that two, until one set her shirt on fire.  
Sirius jumped and quickly moved to extinguish it before shouting a jinx at the first Slytherin in his range. 

"Can't you just give it up!" he shouted as his target dropped from his seat, paralysed. 

"Mister Black! What is the meaning of this!" Slughorn exclaimed and Sirius just glared at him before grabbing his bag and pulling Tatum out of the classroom.

* * *

He kept pulling her along until they were standing right before Professor McGonagal. 

"It's getting out of control" he exclaimed and the woman before them just raised her eyebrows.

"What is?" she asked a little bewildered as she saw the rage on the young man's face. 

"Her life, the way she is treated here" he said, nearly screaming. 

"I suggest you calm down young man" she just replied and then added, "I do believe Miss Evans is already working on it" she said while looking at Tatum, who just smiled and pulled the angry Sirius out of the building and onto the grounds.

* * *

When they were as far from the entrance doors as possible, Tatum found them a tree to sit under.

"Thank you" she replied as he sat down next to her. But as he was still angry he gave no reply, but another growl.

"please calm down" she whispered and he looked at her a little shocked. Did it bother her so much? He had no clue, but figured it had to do with her parents. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't think it would..." he began but didn't finish his sentence. He had no idea how too.

"It's alright, Sirius" Tatum replied and laid her head on his shoulder.

He was as unpredictable as a summer storm but at least she knew those always died down after a little while ragging.

* * *

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I hope you like this new update! Please let me know.

I also would like to take this moment to thank each one of you...This story has had over 2200 reads up to this point and I could not be happier.

I'd also like to thank;  
- Baby seal  
- tibys  
- First Gurl Rider

- ILoveBritishBoys

And last but not least: 

- Camila101

For the reviews they've sent my way for this story!

And of course I should put in another disclaimer...it's been a few posts I believe.  
The main title and chaptertitles are lyrics taken from _Cardigan_ songs! Their songs gave me the inspiration to write this story!  
And of course the scenery of hogwarts and such, belong to J.K. Rowling as do the characters you recognise from the books.  
Characters such as Tatum and Nina are all mine!

AGAIN THANKS FOR READING! I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!

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	17. This is an invitation

* * *

**You couldn't care less...**

* * *

**Chapter 16:**

_this is an invitation_

* * *

Tatum sighed softly as she got out of her bed. Another sleepless night and she would simply break. The bags underneath her eyes were getting darker and her usual spirit was long gone. She just wanted the year to be over. To get out of this place and hide out from the world. Maybe that would safe her from the pain. Wilona Wallis walked in and smiled evilly as she saw the girl before her.

"Looking good Winthrop!" she called out laughing and Tatum just flipped her off before getting into her uniform and waking Narcissa.

"Out of bed before me?" Narcissa asked a little confused and checked the time.

"It's not even seven yet, usually I have to drag you out..." she added and Tatum just shrugged, the life just drawn from her form.

"It's getting worse isn't it" Narcissa whispered softly before going into the bathroom.

* * *

Half asleep Tatum sat through her morning classes. She could hardly keep her eyes open, let alone pay attention to everything that was being said. Next to her she saw Narcissa scribble away and she smiled. Narcissa pretty much had a photographic memory, meaning she never really had to write anything down. She was doing this for her and Tatum knew it.

"Thanks" she whispered softly and laid her head down on her table. This was going to be a long day, but she would be able to catch up later.

At lunch Narcissa urged her to sit with the Gryffindors.

"Eat in peace darling, I'm not sure your quick enough to dodge the jinxes." She said and Tatum snorted but agreed nonetheless. Narcissa was right...as always.

"Hi Winny" James said jokingly as Tatum sat down next to Lily and she groaned.

"Shut up, Potty" she replied and Lily laughed.

"Seriously, with one foot in the grave she still finds the energy to be witty" she said and the others laughed.

"Don't worry Lily, I not dieing just yet" she replied and smiled kindly at her friends before laying her head on Sirius' shoulder and quickly falling asleep.

* * *

When Tatum woke up she was lying in a bed. Not her own though and quickly she looked around for anything that could point out where she was.

On the bedside table she found a note in neat handwriting.

* * *

_Hello sweetheart,_

_I excused you from your classes and let Sirius put you in my bed._

_I'm hoping you'll be a little more rested after your nap._

_Love,_

_Lily_

* * *

Tatum smiled and laid back down for another hour. By the time she got out of bed it was already time for dinner and she decided to go and show her face again.

On her way down however, she found that just a few too many eyes were pointed in her direction. Her suspicious self rounded a corner quickly and hid from few. She wanted to know what they were all talking about.

"Yes, did you hear it? He's been having a little more n the side" one girl said and another gasped audibly.

"He did? With whom did he sleep?" she asked and the first girl just looked grimly.

"You know that girl Wilona? She's a Slytherin as well...anyway rumour has it that Sirius has been hooking up with her as well" the first girl replied and Tatum felt like the rug she was standing on had been pulled out from under her. Her heart broke silently as she came out from her hiding place and she walked as gracefully as possible into the great hall.

Debating on where to sit, she still decided on the Gryffindor table. Seeing as how Narcissa was nowhere to be found at the time.

Slowly she walked towards Lily and James, who were fighting as always.

"Hi Tatum" James said absentmindedly and Tatum just nodded in his direction while taking a seat next to lily. Conveniently at the end of the table. There would be no room for anybody else to sit next to her.

Lily ended her latest brawl with the man before her and turned to her friend.

"I see you took a demonstrative seat" she said and Tatum nodded before asking

"Are the rumours true?" .

"I haven't got a clue. It's the first time I've head of it but I can't promise you anything." Lily replied in all honesty and Tatum sighed. She'd have to wait and see where this would lead too.

* * *

Impatiently she waited for Sirius to waltz in but as the minutes passed by she decided to go look for him instead.

"I'll be right back" she said to no one in particular and quickly left the hall.

As she left the hall and set out towards the Gryffindor tower...or where she thought it was located anyway... she feared the worst and her emotions were already running high.

"This is ridiculous...It'd s just a rumour...He will confirm that in just a few minutes." She said to herself and started walking faster and faster. She could hardly hold herself together. Having him in her life seemed to be one of the very few things going right this year. She had no idea what she would do if the rumours were true.

She smiled as she saw Sirius walking towards her with his normal air about him.

"Hello there" he said and bend down to kiss her on the lips.

"Hi" she replied and let him kiss her before addressing her worries.

"I was looking for you..." she began and he looked at her with confusion written on his face, "there is this rumour" Tatum then added and Sirius smiled.

"Yes me and Wilona...Seriously you'd think they'd pick someone I'd talk to. There is nothing to worry about Tatum. I don't even know the girl." He replied and Tatum sighed with relief.

"Sorry, but I just had to be sure" she replied and he wrapped his arm around her.

"of course" he replied again and together they went to the great hall.

"so I guess it was all a big lie" Lily said as Tatum and Sirius sat down beside her.

"You did not doubt me, did you Lily?" Sirius asked with fake betrayal written on his face and Lily just laughed, pleading innocence.

* * *

When dinner was over Lily pulled Tatum aside.

"So I've been talking to Professor McGonagal this week and she agreed to let you sleep with the head girl...me that is... If you want to of course!!" Lily blurted out, seemingly in one breath and Tatum laughed.

"Thank you, Lils! Maybe I could actually participate in the classes again!" Tatum hugged her friend close and happily looked around to find Narcissa.

Once she spots her friend she runs up and tackles her to the ground.

"Cissy, I've had this pretty great offer today!" Tatum began and Narcissa smiled.

"Well tell me about this offer!" she replied and Tatum suddenly realised what or better yet who she had to leave behind in the process.

"Well...Lily had this idea...McGonagal already agreed...but it would mean..." Tatum stammered and Narcissa sighed as she pulled Tatum onto a bench.

"If we're going to take forever, we might as well sit down" she muttered and Tatum looked at her apologetic.

"Lily asked me to bunk with her" Tatum then said and Narcissa's face went from shocked to sad to happy. This girls really let her feelings pass by fast. No wonder she remains relatively happy throughout the hardest of times.

"As in for the rest of the year?" Narcissa asked carefully.

"yes, the rest of the year"

"Well that's great. It would mean you'll get some rest" Narcissa reasoned and Tatum nodded.

"But what about you? Us?" Tatum then asked and Narcissa pulled her close.

"We'll be fine. I'm not being jinxed and we'll still see one another in classes and the weekends of course!!" Narcissa was once more the voice of reason and Tatum smiled.

" I love you Cissy" Tatum said and pulled her friend up before continuing, "Now we've got to go packing. I can move in tonight if I want too"

Narcissa sighed but let her friend drag her along.

* * *

"Seriously how much stuff can a person have?" Lily exclaimed when the marauders came waltzing in with yet another bag of possessions. Tatum laughed before telling her friend that this had been the last load.

"All we have to do now is get the last set of books and we're done!" Tatum said and Lily sighed.

"Thanks guys! We can handle the books" she said to the marauders and they bolted immediately, afraid they might change their minds.

The walk back from the Slytherin common room was rather quiet. Lily prowled like the strict head girl she was and Tatum had her mind filled with the idea of restful nights. Their arms sore and loaded with books, they made their way through the countless corridors and up and down the endless staircases.

"you'd think they would let us use magic to move..." Tatum groaned and Lily just nodded in agreement before shushing her friend.

"Did you hear that?" she asked and Tatum strained her ears to catch any sound at all. Not far from them a classroom door was ajar and they could hear soft voices coming from inside.

"This must be the best part of your day, getting to punish other students for being out of bed, when you aren't in it yourself." Tatum joked and Lily just smiled as she pushed the door open.

What they found inside however broke at least one heart and shocked both girls into oblivion.

* * *

_I'm SO sorry for keeping you all waiting but I believe I've explained it all before._

_Right now I'm still extremely busy but at least I've got an idea for the next few chapters. Well I've got the entire idea for the story I just did not know how to get from a to b...I'm figuring it out now!_

* * *

I hope you enjoyed this one!! 

* * *


	18. My heart can't carry much more

* * *

**You couldn't care less…**

* * *

**Chapter 17: **_My heart can't carry much more_

* * *

It all happened so fast. Tatum could not really grasp it all, her mind was one big chaos. As she lay in bed she tried to stay silent and stifled her cries. Slowly but surely she cried herself to sleep that night.

Things never seemed to work out for her or even the people around her. Happiness would show it's face only to run and hide all too soon. She had been so sure that this was someone she could trust. Someone she could rely on...and yet here she was, her heart crushed once more. And even in her dreams the events of the evening kept playing in her mind, over and over again. Breaking the pieces of her heart a little more each time.

"_So Sirius eased your mind then?" Lily asked just as they left the Slytherin common room and Tatum smiled._

"_He just laughed about it. Saying that they could've at least picked out a girl he actually knew" Tatum answered and Lily just nodded. The rumour had already seemed so farfetched. _

_Then again, you never knew with a boy like Sirius. He was quite unpredictable. _

_They walked the long hallways in silence from then on. Lily prowled like the strict head girl she was and Tatum had her mind filled with the idea of restful nights. Their arms sore and loaded with books, they made their way through the countless corridors and up and down the endless staircases._

"_you'd think they would let us use magic to move..." Tatum groaned and Lily just nodded in agreement before shushing her friend._

"_Did you hear that?" she asked and Tatum strained her ears to catch any sound at all. Not far from them a classroom door was ajar and they could hear soft voices coming from inside. _

"_This must be the best part of your day, getting to punish other students for being out of bed, when you aren't in it yourself." Tatum joked and Lily just smiled as she pushed the door open._

Inside the classroom was something she really did not expect to find. Not now, not this time. Not with her.

"_Sirius?" Lily whispered as she recognised the boy in the room. Confused he turned around and revealed the person he had been talking to. Wilona Wallis. They were standing closely together, making the rumours run through Tatum's mind at high speed. She gasped and left the classroom before anyone could say another word. _

_Quickly she walked down the hallway and started running as she rounded the corner. Where she was running too she did not know, she did not care much either. She just kept on running until she could run no more. _

_Out the doors and onto the grounds, across the quidditich pitch and past Hagrid's cabin. She just kept running until her legs gave out from under her and she fell onto the grass below her. _

_Tears streamed down her face and she did not even try to wipe them away. She was only spooked by the arms that wrapped around her fragile form and pulled her close. _

"_it's going to be okay…" the voice of Remus Lupin whispered in her ear and she just cried a little harder as she leaned into him. _

_Back in the classroom Sirius had heard her gasp and ran to follow her. He would have, were it not for Lily. With a strength he would have never guessed she had, she stepped in front of him and held him back. _

"_you might want to stay away from her right now. She isn't a Slytherin for no reason and we both know what she can do when provoked." Lily replied and then stormed out after giving both people who were left behind two weeks worth of detention. They would regret hurting her friend._

Remus had walked Tatum to her new room and alerted Lily that she was back inside. But Tatum had not been willing to speak and pretended to be asleep. She was in no shape to have the conversation she knew was awaiting her.

* * *

The next morning Lily softly shook her form and whispered her name.

"Tatum, sweetie, wake up. It's time for breakfast" she said and hoped her friend would be strong enough for this mornings event.

"I'm skipping it" Tatum groaned and Lily sighed.

"I know you don't want to but skipping won't help you. You know you have to get this over with" Lily tried again and Tatum sighed loudly before pushing back the covers and standing up.

"Could wait for me?" she asked her friend and stepped into bathroom.

"Of course I wait. James and Remus are downstairs two." Lily said and though she got no reply she knew her friend had heard.

Within ten minutes Tatum was dressed and ready to face the world…..or as ready as she'll ever be. With Lily by her side and James and Remus right behind, she dared to take a step outside. She knew it was going to be hard, she knew today was going to be extremely hard. But she also knew she had to get through it.

* * *

The great hall was filled with students but the time they got their and it was buzzing with rumours. Everywhere she looked, Tatum saw people looking at her.

Everybody knew.

She looked across the room, hoping to find Narcissa but caught Wilona's eye instead. The girl smiled mischievously and waved at her before turning back to her breakfast. As if nothing had been wrong.

Quickly Tatum diverted her attention and sat down at the Gryffindor table. She grabbed some toast and pumpkin juice and was determined to eat calmly. She was going to show everyone she was fine. Just fine.

"You okay?" Remus asked softly as he sat down next to her and grabbed some food for himself.

"I'm fine Remus, don't worry about me" she said and he looked at her a little longer before just shrugging it off. He took one bite before the silence was disturbed again.

"Can we talk?" Sirius asked and Tatum just looked up at him with faked disinterest.

"Why?" she asked calmly and he sighed.

"I want to explain…" he tried and she just sighed and flipped him off.

"There is nothing to explain. It's fine. We all have our flaws. Yours is having bad taste. You can't help it." Tatum said and continued eating in silence.

Defeated Sirius walked away from her.

* * *

He came back though. During lunch. Again he asked if he could have a moment of her time and again she pushed him away.

"Everything is just fine Sirius. Don't bother" she had said and her friends just wondered what had gotten into her. Still they said nothing of it, if she wanted to speak to them…she would. Right?!

* * *

"Tatum, please wait. I just want a minute of your time" Sirius tried again later that day.

"My time is precious" Tatum replied and kept walking through the hallways.

"Sirius! Get away from her. You've done enough" A voice called out and Tatum recognised it as Narcissa's.

"you heard the lady. Get lost" Tatum said with a smirk and waited for her friend to catch up.

"He darling. I just heard" Narcissa began as she walked besides Tatum.

"I'm fine Cissy." Tatum interrupted and smiled.

" I know you are, but just so you know…if there is a moment where you aren't fine. Give me a call." Narcissa said and smiled back at her friend. She knew better then to push her in matters of the heart.

"I know Cissy. That's why you're my best friend right." Tatum said and hugged her friend before saying goodbye and walking towards her new room.

* * *

As she walked through the common room and entered her bedroom she thought back of the events of the past year or so.

Things had started out so good. Things had ended so bad.

As she dropped herself on the bed she felt tears trickle down her cheek.

Things had been so much easier in her first year at Hogwarts. She had no friends and she was often lonely. She was invisible to most people. She'd be pestered sometimes, but it had never been extremely bad. She could have survived like that. She could have gotten out of school without to many scars.

But no she choose to make friends, to make enemies and to make her life difficult. Now she had to bare the burden, the scars and the bad memories.

Soon school would be over and she could start over. Keep the friends she had made, but forget about the enemies and the heartbreaks.

* * *

Well?? What did you think? An OK chapter? A good chapter? A great chapter? Or were there some things you would change?

Let me know. I'm open for feedback and constructive critism!

Other than that, I am sorry for the wait in between chapters. I figured I'd have more time to write, but this year proves to be harder then I thought. I am however writing as often as i can and update the moment a chapter is finished.

* * *


	19. For what it's worth I love you

* * *

**You couldn't care less…**

* * *

**Chapter 18: **_For what it's worth (I love you)_

* * *

"Be my study buddy?" a voice asked from behind Tatum and she laughed before turning around and answering.

"You don't study, Cissy"

"Well there is a first for everything right?" Narcissa tried again with an angelic smile on her face and Tatum sighed.

"Sorry another time" She replied and walked away. She did not need pity.

Narcissa sighed as she watched her friend walk away from her. This has been going on for to long now. It had been two weeks since the incident and ever since she had been on her own mostly.

* * *

Last night, Lily sought Narcissa out and asked for help with Tatum. Narcissa jumped at the opportunity to help her friend and went in search for only to find that the girl wasn't anywhere she was.

It was pointless to say something was wrong, everybody knew what it was….

They all knew and yet none of them could really help.

She tried, Remus tried, James tried, Lily did and so did Sirius. Even Peter pitched in…and that while he was slightly spooked by anything called a Slytherin.

Narcissa just could not figure out what she needed to do. What weapons did she need? It was obvious that she needed to set in everything she knew. Everyone she knew. And as her brain mauled over her options a figurative light bulb went on inside her head. She knew just where to go.

* * *

Lily smiled as her friend sat down for lunch. At least she still showed up.

"He darling, where have you been….you were out before me…that's early" Lily joked and Tatum just smiled back at her.

"I went for a walk" she replied and James snorted.

"A walk?? For nearly six hours? You're in good shape!" he exclaimed and received a devastating look from Lily. Quickly he shot her a smirk and she sighed before turning her head again.

"Tatum?" she began softly and her friend looked up.

"Yes, lils?"

"If something was bothering you….you'd tell me right? I mean you know you can right?" Lily said and Tatum smiled her empty smile once more.

"Of course…but I'm fine. I feel great, really. Don't worry your pretty little head over me….you'll get wrinkles."

"NO" James yelled and lily sighed as his friends just laughed.

"What, James?" Lily asked

"Don't worry…..wait did you call me James….AGAIN! You know you love me."

"Shut up potter" Tatum warned him and he smirked at her.

"Anyway don't worry anymore Lily. We would not want this piece of art to get ruined by wrinkles."

"Trust me Potter, if I stay around you long enough…I'll die before I'm old" Lily replied before standing up from the table.

* * *

Tatum spend the afternoon in the library, where she did some of her homework and read up on the success stories of history's witches.

She dreamed of her own future and hoped that someday her name would be among the list of witches she read about. Then her life would be easier. No matter how much they hated her, people would refrain from hurting her so openly. They'd do it behind her back and sometimes she figured that would be a lot easier.

A sigh escaped her lips as she stood up to go to diner. And yet halfway through the library she decided otherwise. After seeing Sirius walk past the door, on his way to diner, she lost her appetite.

She grabbed her bag and walked out the great doors and onto the grounds. And once more she walked towards her favourite spot, across the pitch, past Hagrid's cabin and along the boundaries of the forest until she saw a tree that was inviting her to sit down.

Her breath became ragged and she felt tears burn behind her eyes. Things were constantly looking grim for her. Nothing ever looked up for long…

Would she ever experience happiness? Would she ever know what it felt like…for more then two weeks?

And as she mauled over the things that had happened in her quite miserable life, tears streamed down her face in rapid speed.

Her own thoughts made her miss the footsteps coming closer, but the scent she picked up soon enough betrayed the presence of the last person she expected to see.

"Sirius? What the hell do you want!?" she sighed annoyed and tried to wipe away her tears as quickly as possible.

"Talk, explain" he said and she snorted.

"There is nothing left to say…please leave me alone" she said and pushed him softly away from her. Sighing he stood up and looked down upon her small form.

"I know you don't want to hear me out…I know you pretend not to care anymore. And as long as you can't give that up, I won't give you all the details of my explanation. I'll just tell you that what you think happened, never occurred."

"Lovely" Tatum replied sarcastically.

"I love you" he said and Tatum now laughed out loud.

"Sure whatever that's worth…" she replied and watched him walk away from her.

The tears came back to her eyes and she pulled her knees to her chest.

* * *

Later she would see the irony of the situation, but the moment she felt two strong arms wrap around her, she thought of nothing close to irony.

Her eyes looked up into the eyes of her comforter and she just cried out some more before wrapping her arms around the figure before her.

"Will he ever change?" she asked and the arms pulled her even closer before the figure answered softly.

"I know my brother …he just doesn't know how to love you and let you love him" Regulus said and Tatum sighed. She knew he was right, yet she wanted nothing more then for him to tell her that things would change very soon. Even though he could not possibly know.

For what seemed like hours, she cried in his arms. His body keeping her warm in the wind that was blowing and the chill that was in the air.

She had no intention of moving from her spot and apparently he was fine with that. He kept her close for as long as she wanted him too, he didn't let go once…not even to shift position.

"Why are you here?" Tatum asked and he sighed.

"Can't I just be here?" he asked and Tatum sat up, pushing his arms away gently.

"I thought we agreed…it wasn't smart. You could get into trouble" she said and he laughed.

"And my cousin won't?" he asked her and Tatum looked down. She knew Narcissa took a risk in befriending her but she dared not to mention it, in fear that she would walk away from her.

"I'm sorry" Tatum muttered and stood up from her spot on the grass.

"What?" Regulus asked her in confusion.

"For being the screw-up I am" she said and began to walk away from him again.

"Why can't you let me back in?" he called after her and stopped in her tracks.

"Look at the last two people I let back into my life" she muttered, just loud enough for him to hear. She sighed and began walking again, knowing fully well he was coming up behind her.

His hand gripped hers and he gently pulled her to a halt.

"I'm not like them" he said and kept holding her hand as they walked back to the castle. He'd show her…he would not let her down again.

* * *

Well that's the latest installment and I hope you like it! Please check out the question on my accountpage...It's important to me.

Thanks for reading !!

* * *


	20. Tell me you're sorry

* * *

**You couldn't care less…**

* * *

**Chapter 19**

_Tell me you're sorry_

* * *

Days went by and Regulus stayed true to his words, staying by her side as much as he could. Tatum knew he was trying to prove himself. Not just to herself, but to his brother two. There had always been that all to familiar rivalry between the two boys and right now, she was in the middle of it. Not that she really cared though…She had reacquainted with a friend after all, there was absolutely no reason for her to whine about the motivation behind it.

She smiled as she saw the familiar figure standing before the room she and Lily shared. Ever since that day on the fields, he'd been picking her up, bringing her back. Not leaving anything to chance.

"You do know that I can find my own way to the great hall right? I've been there before" she joked as he stepped out f the shadows.

"I know, but I would not want to keep you from my wonderful presence. How could you ever survive that?" he asked her and she laughed, while saying her goodbyes to Lily and James. They really didn't like Regulus nor did he like them. But on the bright side…Lily and James seemed to be getting awfully close.

* * *

Tatum sat down on the Slytherin table, next to Narcissa and Regelus and smiled at all the appalled faces.

"Hi guys I'm back, have you all missed me terribly?" she asked going back to her Slytherin nature. She wasn't all sweet and shy…there was actually a bit of unkindness and sarcasm inside of her. The people before her grumbled angrily and Narcissa just laughed. She was getting her friend back.

A few minutes passed by before things changed however. Rabastan sat down across the table.

"Hello old friends" he said smirking and kicked Tatum underneath the table.

"Well that's a low blow" she said rubbing her leg but not losing eye contact.

"What did you expect, a nice welcome hug?" Nina asked and Tatum snorted.

"Since when did you become such a smart ass?? Anyway I could do without the hug. A painful death to both of you would work just fine for me" Tatum said and Narcissa smirked, though keeping her hand close to her wand now. She was glad Tatum was sticking up for herself but the odds weren't on their side.

Her friend seemed to notice this as well, because she grabbed another piece of toast before standing up.

"Care to join me in class, Cissy? " Tatum said calmly and Narcissa stood up, followed swiftly by Regulus.

"Sweetie, I really am happy you are sticking up for yourself, but should you be looking for trouble? Seriously?" Narcissa said carefully and Tatum smiled.

"You're with me right? Both of you?" she asked and both Narcissa and Regulus nodded in reply.

"How lovely…why don't you try a group hug?" Rabastan's voice boomed from a few metres away.

"Jealous?" Tatum asked and turned around to face him. She could not turn her back to him now.

"You wish, filthy little…" he began but was cut off.

"Shut up Rabastan" Regulus said and he pointedly took a step forward.

"Should have known you'd be like that bloodtraitor brother of yours" Rabastan said, knowing it would piss his old friend off.

"I'm nothing like my brother…we just both happen to have grown up with this girl" Regulus said calmly. Not giving the response people had been waiting for. Tatum smiled and the three of them stated walking again.

"Walk away, be the little cowards you are" Rabastan called and Tatum stopped in her tracks. He was right, she thought, she been avoiding confrontation for nearly two years now. It was time to stop hiding.

"You're with me right?" she asked again and they nodded once more.

"Hey Rabastan!!" she called out and as he turned around she shot the first curse. Quickly he tried to dodge it but it hit him in the shoulder still. His arm twitched and he cried out in pain.

"Let's see who's the biggest coward here" Tatum yelled and shot another curse his way. This time he saw it coming and put a shield up before yelling a curse himself.

Narcissa jumped forward and did what she always did best, protect those she loves by putting up a shield as well. As the spells jutted off from her shield, Rabastan's cronies jumped into action. Tatum kept firing spells but knew the odds were against them. Ten of them while they were with three, it would be a miracle for them to win this duel.

That miracle came ten minutes later in the form of the marauders and Lily. Though they were still with two less, they were most definitely stronger in the duel.

And then with one last spell shot at Rabastan, Tatum ended the duel all together. As he slumped down to the floor, Nina went down with him and everybody fell silent.

Hurt and tired, Tatum didn't stand and linger but pulled her friends along and ran towards the room she shared with the head girl.

"Let's stay here for a little while, catch our breaths" Tatum said and nobody disagreed. Lily enchanted a note for the teachers and then laid down on the couch with the rest of them.

"what happened?" James asked, sitting unusually close to Lily, who did not object.

"Right now? Or do you want a reminder of the past two years?" Tatum asked and James just shrugged and dropped the subject all together.

As the hour was nearly gone, they stood up and grabbed their belongings. While Lily, Narcissa and the marauders weren't injured, Tatum and Regulus had not comer out unscathed.

"Why don't we go to the hospital wing" Regulus mentioned and Tatum agreed eagerly. Her right arm was throbbing and she truly needed it…it was her wand arm after all. Besides she really wanted to get away from a certain marauder, his pleading eyes were killing her inside.

* * *

In silence they walked the halls together, both dealing with their own thoughts. But the silence was ended when they reached the hospital wing where a crying Nina jumped into the arms of Tatum. With disgust written on her face, she pushed her away.

"What is your problem" Tatum exclaimed and roughly walked past the girl.

"I thought we were friends again?" Nina asked her confused and Tatum turned around.

"We? Friends? You've obviously got me confused with Bellatrix" Tatum yelled at the girl before her and Nina just inhaled deeply.

"Where do you get the idea that Bellatrix is my friend?" Nina asked and both Tatum and Regulus laughed loudly.

"try and fool someone else, Nina" Regulus said and pulled Tatum in the direction of the school nurse.

Regulus was allowed to leave moments later but due to the awfully stinking potion Tatum had to drink to mend her broken arm, she had to stay behind for another hour of two.

"She might experience dizziness and such." The nurse said and pushed Tatum on a bed gently.

"Then I'll stay two" Regulus said and Tatum smiled at him. And though the nurse was not happy at all, she made no attempt to get him out.

* * *

A few beds down the line was Nina, still crying her eyes out. Nobody by her side.

When their headmaster Dumbledore walked in, however the atmosphere seemed to change.

"this is the girl?" he asked the nurse, while pointing at Nina and the nurse nodded.

Quietly they spoke on but Tatum was able to hear a few words, 'spell … Bellatrix … purpose….dark lord'.

She strained her ears but got nothing more. So when the conversation ended, she stood up and called her headmaster.

"Excuse me. Could somebody explain this all to me" she asked and tried to stay vague in the hopes of getting more information.

"Your friend here seems to have been under a spell for quite some time" Dumbledore said and Tatum looked confused.

"What kind of spell?" she asked and he shrugged.

"We are not sure just yet. It seems that she has no recollection of the past months." He said and Tatum looked back at Regulus.

"She doesn't know? Did you know about that?" she asked and Regulus shook his head.

"They did not let me in on much, they feared I would turn out like my brother." He said and looked at the now sleeping form on Nina.

"Seems you can trust people every once in a while" regulus said and Tatum smiled.

Maybe he was right. Maybe more then one person could be trusted a little more.

* * *

Well I hope you enjoyed this one!! Let me know please!!

* * *


	21. Trying to play together somehow

* * *

**You couldn't care less...**

* * *

**Chapter 20**

_Trying to play together somehow_

* * *

Tatum walked along the halls alone. Her mind was preoccupied and she needed to get some air. A lot had happened since she decided to stand up for herself. She regained a friend, although she was not quite sure that she could ever trust Nina again.

And she ended up in the hospital. Nothing to serious, but she had to stay a few hours. Luckily Regulus stayed and after classes had ended, the rest of her friends had come by as well. That however was not necessarily a good thing.

Though they had all fought together for Tatum, they were far from friends and as it seemed Regulus was a lot less friendly then Narcissa. Whereas Narcissa accepted the presence of the marauders and muggleborn Lily, Regulus could not keep his mouth shut about the fact that she was in fact muggle born.

After the tenth comment James lost his temper and was ushered out of the room, accompanied by the marauders. Lily stayed behind, though reluctantly so. Tatum felt quite guilty.

"Reggie, please be nice" she tried and he snorted.

"Why would I be nice to the likes of…THAT" he exclaimed and Tatum felt a sting of his words.

"Regulus Arcturus Black, she is my friend! She has been there for me when I had nobody else and I love her for that" Tatum exclaimed and Regulus stood up.

"Sorry Tatum, but I just can't…I'll be back when you're alone" he said and Tatum sighed. This was not what she had expected to happen. She half expected Regulus to clash with Sirius, James perhaps. But not Lily.

Then again his parents drilled him into believing she was less then him. All muggleborns were. Whereas Tatum never listened when her parents tried to drill her. She never thought of Lily as anything less then her. They were equal. Well equal in their rights anyway…Lily was far better at all other levels.

So when she was allowed to leave after a few hours, she did not feel like looking for Regulus. Neither did she want to hang around her other friends for the moment.

She needed to clear her head. Besides, she had to think of a way to begin her conversation to Sirius. After realising her mistake with Nina, she knew he deserved a conversation. A chance to explain himself.

* * *

So she sat down by the lake, leaning against her favourite tree and grabbed her art book. She had not taken the time to draw in a long time, yet it had always pleased her so to do it.

For what seemed like hours, she drew everything that came to mind. And she was content while doing so. All the drama seemed so far away while she was busy. It all seemed so small and futile. Like none of it mattered. Still in the back of her mind she knew, she had to get back at some point.

When the sun began to decent she grabbed her stuff again and made her way inside. She had missed dinner and her stomach was grumbling, so she made her way to the kitchens. Happily greeted by the house elves she ordered some food and spoke kindly to them as she ate it all. They were handy, those house elves. But far to little appreciated in her eyes. But she knew the ones here, had a good life. They were obviously used to kind conversations with witches. The elves she had seen at her house and at her parents' friends were always scared to speak. Afraid she was just joking them and as soon as they would return the kindness, they'd be jinxed. She understood their position, but didn't like it one bit.

She ate her share and left the room again, heading to the library. She could do some homework before going to bed. And perhaps she would get a brilliant idea as to how she should start her conversation with Sirius. She had vowed to herself to do it in the morning. If she waited much longer, she'd be to scared to it.

* * *

In the back of the library she found a table to sit and began her homework, only to be interrupted shortly after by a voice.

"I told you Prongs. It's fine. She needs more time," said the voice of Sirius and Tatum got curious.

"Bullocks. You owe it to her and yourself to tell the truth. You didn't cheat on her" James replied and Tatum smiled, getting the idea they were talking about her.

Slowly she stood up and walked up behind them, she still did not know what to say but she knew she should not wait any longer.

"Hello boys" she said and both guys turned around quickly.

"Hello, Tatum…good…well...I should go" James muttered and smiled at Tatum before walking off.

"Care for a stroll?" Tatum asked and Sirius nodded before signalling her to lead the way.

For a while they walked in silence and without realising they had ended up at their hangout by the lake. Both sat down without a word and stared out over the water. She knew she had to speak, but she did not have a clue what she could say.

"I should have given you a chance" Tatum began and Sirius shrugged.

"It was just so hard…you would not have been the first to hurt…it would not have been your first time to hurt me either…I got scared and didn't know what to do anymore, what to believe" Tatum added quickly and Sirius shifted his position so he was looking straight at her.

"I'm sorry you doubted me. I'm even more sorry I gave you reasons to doubt me." Sirius said and Tatum smiled slightly.

"Can't we put this behind us?" Tatum offered and he smiled before wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer.

"I'd love that," he whispered in her ear and it sent shivers down her spine.

Sighing contently she curled up against him, while he leaned against the tree behind them. She did not know where they stood exactly, but right now it did not matter. She was just happy to get back the friendship they shared.

* * *

As Tatum came back to the room she shared with the head boy and girl she was surprised to find them on the couch together…kissing.

"Really, do you have to do that right before my eyes" she bellowed, scaring them so that Lily pushed James of the couch.

Laughing Tatum walked through the room and into her bedroom.

"Don't mind me lovelies" she said happily as she closed the door. Leaning against the door she heard James muttering curses and Lily sighed loudly. She laughed and laid down on her bed. Things were finally looking up again.

* * *

Weeks passed by and Tatum was happy. Her life seemed to go right for once. She had not one but two groups of friends and though they rather disliked one another, separated all was good.

Besides, she hadn't heard from Rabastan or any other of his group, since their 'quarrel'.

However there was nobody that could ignore the grim atmosphere outside. People were dying by the hand of the man that called himself Voldemort. Whereas there had been few killings the last year, the numbers were rapidly increasing now. 5 murders over the past week alone. It was starting to scare everyone.

Families made it a normality to write everyday, just so they knew everything was alright. Tatum, of course, received nothing. She reckoned her parents had already joined ranks with this murderer. As must many other families have, because she noticed a few other kids from her house weren't receiving any mail either.

"What do you think of this all?" Tatum asked as she lay outside in the sun with Narcissa and Regulus.

"Those murders?" Narcissa asked and sat up straight.

"It scares me…what is there is really going to be war? What if any of us die..our families? " Narcissa said and the look in her eyes said everything.

"You think Lucius joined?" Tatum asked carefully and Narcissa just looked at the ground.

"He hasn't said anything about it but I doubt he would if he had joined." Narcissa replied and Tatum could do nothing but grab her hand in comfort. The effort was not going unnoticed though as Narcissa squeezed her hand and smiled at her friend.

"I think he's got the right idea" Regulus sneered a little and Tatum was taken aback.

"You're thinking of joining?" she asked him and he shrugged.

"Don't know yet." He said and stood up.

"I'm going inside" he then said and strode of towards the castle.

"This is not good" Tatum muttered as she and Narcissa followed him inside.

* * *

So...Regulus is showing his true colours maybe?

Anyway sorry for the long wait. I've been extremely busy with school and finding an internship for next year. Now I've got a spot and school is over so hopefully there will be much more time to write!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review my lovely readers, I'd love that!!

* * *


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